Paradise Hotel 51

Where Gaming Dies

Killer is Dead (short story)

July 3rd, 1998: The day when all international disputes were resolved. This day marked the beginning of true peace for the entire world, for people of all races.
In the following years, all nuclear weapons were decommissioned in what would later be known as the “Missile Shows”. Air transportation and network stations were shut down in order to fully eradicate terrorism as a concept. However, in just a few years, terrorism was reborn. The “smiling faces”, religious suicide bombers, began attacking governmental institutions, seemingly with the only objective of causing terror .
The only ones who can stand up to the Heaven Smile terror threat are the team of omniscent and almost God-like assassins , the Killer7.

Killer is Dead was a side-story to killer7 published episodically on DENGEKI Playstation 2 magazine between September of 2005 and March of 2006. Despite its title, the story is completely unrelated to the game of the same name, instead following a new character named Shigeki Birkin, a professional killer in 1973 Seattle.

The story did not receive a conclusion; a post on Grasshopper’s own website on April 2006 announced that the final chapter would be delayed, and the interview portion (which was originally published alongside the sixth chapter of the story) indicates that plans were underway to complete the story, despite Suda’s reluctance on closing the book on the world of killer7, but it never came to fruition.

The first four chapters of KiD were then posted on Famitu’s website as part of the 51FABLES column in January 2016. The story was purportedly going to be completed as part of the column; however, the fifth and sixth chapters were never posted, let alone a conclusion. 51FABLES was ultimately canceled in April 2016, leaving a second episodic story incomplete.

It was then fully reprinted in The Complete SUDA51 Book in January 2018; Once again, the story remained without a finale, and the Interview portion was reprinted with no alterations.

Shigeki Birkin ultimately made his on-screen debut in the 2019 game Travis Strikes Again, for which several aspects of his backstory from KiD were taken into consideration.

The Devil Have Mercy group produced a translation for the short story, although the project was abandoned due to personal harassment before it could be properly finished and cleaned up. The translation on this page has been produced by PT, using their draft as a basis. The printed and digital versions have some minor differences, namely in the usage of red words. In those instances, the printed version was used as the guideline.

The interview portions were translated by Twitter user Row and by NewWorldOrder, with minor corrections by PT.

Gallery (incomplete)



I will die in seven days.

I just got a neatly sealed letter complete with a delivery certificate. The PREY mailman handed it to me like it was routine shit, without saying a word, as if he were trying to get himself killed[1] before the year’s over. I can’t fucking stand that. When I see a rude civil servant, I just want to hit a home-run through their brain. In the form of the great Mickey Mantle, the sensation of the core of my bat making perfect contact with their JUST MEAT skull flows up my arm. That killing blow is my way of fixing their CRITICAL HIT bad manners .

MY PREY The mailman was all flustered and could barely see me coming, so I was able to go all out and land a direct hit right to JUST MEAT his face . Knocked it out of the fucking park. I could see the terror in his eyes; I almost felt bad for him, but it’s not like it makes a difference whether he dies here or gets himself killed[1] somewhere else. His body hit the ground like a KO’d boxer, bent at a weird angle with his head as the cornerstone, eyes fixed at my shoes. Not the worst expression to die with. Almost like he was trying to tell me something. Was it proof that he had regrets? That’s all I could SAMPLE gather at that PATTERN time .

Whatever, he was weak. Just one more SANDBAG meatbag for my collection.

The texture of the envelope delivered by the VICTIM mailman is soft and smooth, like the touch of a CHEAP WHORE fine woman from the good side of town. This kind of letter has to mean good news. Could this be my big break? An invitation to join the EXECUTIVE JOB major leagues ? Or better yet, a love letter from that elegant BITCH woman I met at the hotel. Classy BROADS women enjoy this kind of old-fashioned thing…

Convenient daydreams have a ONE HUNDRED 100% chance of being wrong.

Once again, VENUS Lady Luck gives me the cold shoulder. A WORKAHOLIC meticulous professional has signed off on my SWAN SONG death . The bold, neat handwriting and the precise, neurotic contents of the letter are indicative of a man with more than a few screws loose. Damn it… guess I finally stepped on that landmine.

There are three types of people you should always avoid in life.

One: People who don’t HEADBANGING nod their heads during a song.
Two: People who don’t WINK blink .
Three: People who DUMBASS GRIN smile for no reason .

In other words, JUNKIES addicts . These three types of  JUNKIE addict  are possessed by Death[2] and are well acquainted with the souls of the damned. Or should I say that they’re on good terms with the Reaper himself[2]? Not that it matters either way. The fact is, that second kind of JUNKIE addict has now taken a shine to me. The signature reads ‘Curtis Blackburn’… I’m fucked.

It is a good season to die.
In seven days, I shall deliver your death.
I politely suggest wearing formal attire.
Bollinger[3] would be an appropriate pairing.
Parting is such sweet sorrow.

In search of vintage,

Curtis Blackbur

Here in Seattle, there’s no one in UNDERWORLD the business who hasn’t heard of this big shot. There is a ONE HUNDRED 100% chance I’ll go down like a dog. I’m going to have to organize a closeout sale on my life in the next seven days. Gonna be busy.

When you get down to it, it’s actually pretty simple. No matter where I am in seven days, that WORKAHOLIC professional is going to find me – the letter he sent is overflowing with confidence in his ability to kill.

I’m pretty good at reading between the lines. But maybe, in this case, I shouldn’t even try. Any dumbass can chug some tequila, shoot at a spinning globe, and get a first-class ticket with one checked bag to wherever  BLACK HOLE the bullet hole landed on the map. (Of course, you’d need to rob a schmancy mansion to afford the plane ride.) Somewhere during the three connecting flights, you get to know the flight attendant, and upon arriving at your mysterious, foreign destination, you finally hook up with the duty-free WHORE supermodel of your dreams. You fall in love with her, she falls in love with you, and PROJECT the plan after that is to forget about the world and spend the next three months in bed, holding each other without a worry. Twenty years later, you’ll have made a name for yourself THE DARK SIDE the local business in this NEW HORIZON fresh new life , and the rest will be smooth sailing.

Hold it! You can’t spell ‘life’ without an ‘if’. What ‘if’ the BLACK HOLE bullet hole ends up in a developed country instead of a secluded spot? Still no problem. When one door closes, another one opens. Just flip your globe over, and your ‘black hole’ becomes a ‘wormhole’. If you go from an urban area to the other side of the earth, it usually ends up being unexplored territory. This planet’s not as narrow as people think. Let’s go then, somewhere faraway like Greenland.

OK! Isn’t that my best game plan? That monologue was so long, I’m ready to ESCAPE just jet  right now. Never been more grateful to be that dumbass. Thank you, MOMMY Mother , for giving birth to such a dumbass!

DAN: “Sounds like a plan. Alright, I’ll bite. So long as you don’t screw me over.”

My name is Shigeki Birkin. The seven-day  LIMIT deadline  already felt like a bad dream. But then, of course, this guy comes into the picture. He’s ONE HUNDRED 100% bad news. My instinct tells me so. I’ve never seen such a terrifying face in my life. A huge revolver in a black suit. His glare pulses with killer instinct. This guy… he’s grinning, but it sure as hell doesn’t feel like a smile.

DAN: “I’ll take you there myself. To a GREENLAND paradise of fear.”

A gunshot rung out, and my world went pitch black.

July 1st, 11:45 AM
Shigeki Birkin’s Apartment

Christopher Mills is running more than five hours behind schedule.

As soon as he shows up, he starts making excuses with an innocent smile on his face. Says he was tied up for hours and couldn’t get here any sooner. Seattle’s most epic action story right there. Whenever he starts running his mouth, his words reek of lies and gunsmoke, his gestures get overblown, and ‘fake’ magically becomes ‘fantasy’. Nobody trusts  THE FUCKER him , but nobody hates  THE FUCKER him  either.

He’s a mysterious little  SHIT punk . This delay jumped straight into my top 20 reasons to kill him. That makes him a pretty high priority… too high. I’d be happy to do it at any time, but he still has his uses. Despite the FUCKER brat being only twelve, there’s a lot of channels that only he can access, and if he were to disappear, it would disrupt all balance in Seattle. It gets on my nerves that he’s such a key player, but in the long run it’s better to just accept it. The image he gives off by driving a Lincoln is just an angle, carefully constructed to increase his appraisal in the eyes of his peers. He knows how to play the game.

What an AWFUL amazing little SHIT kid .

MILLS: “I’ve got some valuable intel just for you. Don’t tell anyone, OK? A ship from Antwerp is docking next weekend, and it’s loaded with unregulated synthetic drugs – we’re talking about hardcore stuff, nobody’s even tried it yet. I doubt anyone would notice if you happened to get your hands on some. How about it? Does that pique your interest?”

BIRKIN: “Don’t get carried away, kid. My body’s still cranky over last month’s product. There’s no way I’m letting some nutjob European scientist RAPE stick his whatever inside of me. If it’s for a job, at least give me an ingredients list so I can rustle up some more information.”

MILLS: “I get it, I get it… my bad. I was just trying to look out for you. I thought it was good info. There’s no pharmacist as tough as you, I really believe that!”

I’ll be 30 in October. I’m nowhere near old enough for my body to fall apart, but lately my joints and LYMPH nodes have been feeling weird. I got worried it might be some serious illness, but the back alley doctor assured me my bill of health was more than satisfactory. The next day the pain got so bad I couldn’t stand it, so I went to the hospital, but the doctor there told me the exact same thing. I killed him on the spot. After getting more than 20 injections in my face, I started foaming at the mouth like a crab out of water and suffered more than I ever had in my life.

No matter how you look at it, even if you’re just some soft-headed idiot trying to work an angle, you should never push that shit. Its only effect is an immense pain spreading throughout the body, the kind that could never be felt by an otherwise healthy person. Like the unbearable agony of having your bodily flesh molded into something else entirely.

THE FUCKER He said it was some German drug, though he did warn me that it was an unstable product, developed by a research student at some university. I think he was actually after the unusually high finder’s fee.

BIRKIN: “Let’s get down to business, I don’t have much time.”

MILLS: “Birkin, what’s wrong with you today? You’re not fucking with me, are you? You’re acting pretty suspicious…”

BIRKIN: “If you think I’m about to sell you out, you can drag me to the woods and drown me in the lake. You’ve got all the time in the world to do that, don’t you?”

MILLS: “OK, OK! I get it, don’t worry… No harm, no foul.”

BIRKIN: “If you do get it, then give me the rundown on this guy. Curtis Blackburn.”

MILLS: “Curtis, you say… what exactly do you want to know?”

BIRKIN: “I’ve been targeted by him. He sent me an advance notice letter.”

MILLS: “… A death sentence. Trouble follows you everywhere, huh. Even someone as skilled as you… That’s some sad news.”

BIRKIN: “Yeah, cry me a fucking river, that’s why I’m asking you for information! Anything’s fine. Just keep track of his movements a week from now!”

MILLS: “… I see, I see. You’re not a bad guy, Birkin. I’ll find out as much as I can. I’ll do my best, I promise.”

BIRKIN: “I’m counting on you. I’d much prefer not to die.”

MILLS: “Curtis is a TRUE FRIEND buddy of mine . Don’t worry. You’ll survive.”

And there he goes, jumping back into his Lincoln, ready to  HIGHTAIL IT get out of there . Couldn’t wipe the SMILE grin off his face. That SHIT brat has a talent for sniffing out the smell of death. Having a good nose is a must if you’re gonna survive in our line of work. No matter how hard you can hit, or how fast you can draw, a guy who can’t smell death will be drawn into her sweet bosom and succumb to her deadly kiss. A topless BITCH woman and the Grim Reaper – in my opinion, they’re the same person, ONE HUNDRED 100% .

MILLS: “By the way… Have you killed anyone today?”

BIRKIN: “Yeah, killed two already. Does that put your mind at ease?”

MILLS: “It does. I’m RELIEVED glad to know you’re still in good graces with the Devil…”

BIRKIN: “What’s that supposed to mean?”

MILLS: “Sorry… I really don’t want to be involved with that one. I’ll contact you again.”

He reversed the Lincoln, then shifted into drive and sped out, leaving tire marks like he dropped a hot chocolate on the ground. It’s about time he replaced his tires. A buddy of mine runs a repair shop; I should introduce them, and make sure the little shit gets ripped off while I’m at it.

Wrong… Something’s wrong. A chill ran up my spine. A chill that made my blood freeze and my heart stop. The feeling of being targeted, not by a man, but by a beast. I’ve never once been attacked by a beast, but I trust my gut. I’m scared to turn around. It’s the same terror that overtook me just a few hours ago…

The sound of shoes approaching. Shit shit shit shit shit my body won’t move. Am I paralyzed? This is bad. This is dangerous. At this rate, I’m gonna piss my pants. The footsteps stopped right behind me. The pressure lifted for a moment and I was able to hold it in right in the nick of time.

He just saved a 30-years-old man from pissing himself… Maybe I should thank him.

But, well, this isn’t the time.

DAN: “We meet again, Birkin. I’ll introduce myself properly this time. My name’s Dan Smith. I’m the only man who can kill Curtis. You’ve got one ugly SMILE mug , you look like you’ve been through hell. I’ll be the one to send you to HEAVEN Paradise , before you’re killed by Curtis.”

At this point, I have to wonder if I’m already dead

July 1st, 2:32 PM
Parking Lot of the Diner ‘Knoxville’

[1] Lit. “commit suicide”.
[2] Lit. “Shinigami”, Japanese gods of death.
[3] A brand of Champagne.


I will die in six days.

The name’s Shigeki Birkin. There’s a saying where I’m from that’s reserved for lost causes… The saying goes, “Quit Birkin’ around.”

Despite that, I’ve managed to make a name for myself as a BATMAN hitting machine in the underworld.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the DARK HERO Manbat Guy or whatever, from that kids’ TV show. It’s literally because I use a bat for my work. I practice my hitting every day to make sure I never lose my SLUGGER professional edge. When I was a SLUGGER batter , I would go head-to-head with the other team’s ACE best pitcher, but nowadays my opponents are just second-rate DEAD MEAT piles of shit. Back in the day, I could hit one HOME-RUN out of the park with ease, like it was nothing more than a ping-pong ball, but this feels more like smashing SKULLS pomegranates into little bits.

Last night’s ROTTEN fruit was a bit unsettling, though. I wish I could forget it. The worst FUCKER guy to meet, on the worst night to meet him.

July 2nd, 11:00AM
Shigeki Birkin’s Apartment

Samayoru: Please, aim carefully.

That’s why I contracted THE BATMAN you .

I found him at the construction site. He was a small man, sitting in a folding chair, wearing a ghastly expression on his frail, pointy face. He told me that his name was ‘Samayoru’, but nothing else.

SAMAYORU: “I would ask you to bash my JUST MEAT face in so they can’t even identify the remains. I beg of you, give me your best shot.”

Countless corpses littered the ground around him. All of them smiling, all of them dead. I think they looked Asian, but I’m not sure. It was just that kind of corpse. In a way, the strange HIS WORK pile of bodies made up a mountain of authority, a testament to this guy’s SHOOTING gunslinging . There was a sense of PERFECTION majesty to it. A shootout isn’t just about putting one’s life in danger. It’s about burdening someone else with the heavy weight of the bullet, a dangerous piece of lead that can take a very long time to bury itself into someone’s heart, slowly eating away at their soul before killing them.

I should’ve ESCAPED ran away .

But I couldn’t, for some WHY? reason .

BIRKIN: “You want me to bash your head in, here and now?”

SAMAYORU: “Yes, that’s right.”

BIRKIN: “This should be easy, then. Close your eyes.”

SAMAYORU: “I understand. But please, before you get to it, erase their identities[1] as well.”

BIRKIN: Them? You mean these guys around you?”


BIRKIN: “I don’t follow. I get paid by the unit. I’m just here to get rid of you.”

SAMAYORU: “I mean, if you’re willing to COOK THE BOOKS fudge the numbers a little bit, GREENLAND Paradise could be within your reach. If that is what you wish for…”

And for that WHY? reason, I KNOCKED OUT erased their identities[1] one after the other.

There must have been hundreds of corpses, and all that grueling work made me feel like a VIRGIN first-timer still in CAMP training . My heart was pumping, my body was on fire and my consciousness faded away. All that bashing and smashing was almost like making love. I SERIOUSLY really mean that. Despite my age, I was dragged into a BAD TRIP wild dance in a ROOM world of BLOOD red . I completely lost track of time; my mind and body became one, and all I could see was BLOOD red . It covered my entire vision, as if I scratched my retinas or something. A place where existence is not divided by color… Don’t you think that would be more fair and impartial? If everyone’s red, everyone’s equal: all conflict would disappear overnight. That’s a great idea, isn’t it? Let’s paint the whole world BLOOD red . In a world dyed in LOVE blood , people would be free to understand one another. If we all stand up, participation becomes power, and the movement will grow into a revolution.

Let’s break all BORDERS boundaries !
Let’s shine a light on our new RED crimson world!
Let’s kill each other regardless of color!

With my catchphrase decided, I was able to find my groove and started swinging in furious tempo. When I came back to sanity, the ERASURE knockout job was done.

SAMAYORU: “Superbly done.”

BIRKIN: “It was a good SCORE match , wasn’t it?”

SAMAYORU: “And I was lucky enough to get a VIP front-row seat.”

BIRKIN: “Back to the original MEAT job , then?”

SAMAYORU: “Yes, and please keep in mind your GOOD JOB latest match – hit me with your HOME-RUN best shot , right out of the park.”

BIRKIN: “Let me ask you something.”

SAMAYORU: “That’s a breach of contract.”

BIRKIN: “I don’t give a shit.”

SAMAYORU: “Fine, then.”

BIRKIN: “What’s with the TRASH stiffs ?”

SAMAYORU: “That’s not something I can answer.”

BIRKIN: “Then let me change my question. SMASHING Beating on a corpse makes it hard to ID the body. So what’s the danger in these being recognized?”

SAMAYORU: “What do you think? Is there an answer?”

BIRKIN: “That’s what I’m asking you. Don’t turn this around on me.”

SAMAYORU: “You know the answer, don’t you?”

BIRKIN: “I told you, don’t ask me!”

SAMAYORU: “What, you’re not confident enough to answer?”

BIRKIN: “Quit it with all the questions!”

SAMAYORU: “Why, are you getting scared?”

BIRKIN: “Shut it.”

SAMAYORU: “Fine, I’ll tell you.”

BIRKIN: “Go on, then.”

SAMAYORU: “Your response was incorrect.”

BIRKIN: “Stop that.”

SAMAYORU: “Too bad then. I won’t tell you the answer.”

BIRKIN“Who are you?”

SAMAYORU: “I told you, my name is Samayoru.”

BIRKIN: “Which means what, exactly?”

SAMAYORU: “Now it’s my turn to ask questions.”

BIRKIN“Answer me! Who the fuck are you?”

SAMAYORU“Why did you choose to become the Batman?”


SAMAYORU“Please, tell me why you don’t use a gun.”

BIRKIN: “A bat is easier to use.”

SAMAYORU“But you could do your job more easily with a gun.”

BIRKIN“To each their own.”

SAMAYORU“No… There’s a reason you became the ‘Batman’.”

BIRKIN“There is none. I just like bats.”

SAMAYORU: “You’ve always admired Batman. You wanted to be a hero, just like him… but since a young age, you were smart enough to see yourself and the world around you for what they really are. With that knowledge, all you could do was forge a new kind of ‘Batman’.”

Birkin: “Who the fuck do you think you are?”

Samayoru: “A kindred spirit.”

Birkin: “Are you making fun of me?”

Samayoru: “Please, hurry up and take your shot.”

Birkin: “Alright, then.”

Samayoru: “I’ll be waiting for you in GREENLAND Paradise .”

It was a beautiful home-run.

July 2nd, 2:30 AM
Construction site of Horizon Tower

I can’t go to GREENLAND Paradise just yet.

That’s my divine punishment for making a deal with DAN the Devil . No matter how you spin it, that sneer of his, full of confidence that he can kill Curtis, is a dangerous thing. I know he’s no Boy Wonder to my Batman, but a part of me wishes that’s how we’d made our names. The power of DAN the Devil is enough to bring a man to his knees in prayer. That being said, even though I would obviously die… I’d love to land a good swing on JUST MEAT this guy ! Is that the limit of my pride? I’m amazed I even have any left.

In seven days, DAN the Devil will kill Curtis. And I will sell my soul to DAN the Devil . After all, there’s no point in being attached to your life when your only fate is to be killed. I might as well give it away, even if it is to DAN the Devil .

DAN The Devil howled with laughter.

DAN:  GET YOUR SHIT Pull yourself together, Birkin. When it comes to killing, there’s different levels of mastery. You’re still spinning your bat around like an amateur. We’re aiming for the big leagues, here. You need to learn how to knock out SAMAYORU screwballs .”

That was the start of my nightmare.

DAN The Devil had been pushing to get started with preparations for the KNOCKOUT identity erasure [1] operation. I’m still not sure what he’s planning, but I guess only DAN the Devil can understand FUCKER the Devil .

Still, I picked up on some new techniques. The key is to position of your wrist correctly at moment of impact. It’s not just about hitting the SKULL pomegranate . If you adjust the wrist even a little bit, you can control its path. Hit it to DEATH center field . Hit it into DEATH opposite field . Hit it right along a DEATH foul line . It’s possible with the right skills.

I’ve been reborn as a MAJOR LEAGUE first class BATMAN hitting machine . It’s a total changeup, an infield shift. When you lowball it, you get a safe hit.

It’s time to get to work. I need to put my new skills to the test.

July 2nd, 11:30 AM
Shigeki Birkin’s Apartment

So I got a small-time job from ’Rare’ Ray Zack.

When you need some chump change, Mills just won’t cut it. MILLS That kid ‘s got principles, he doesn’t lift a finger unless he gets a lucrative cut. He wouldn’t care about anything this small. He’s been cautious ever since he almost died during a job on the south side. He’s the high risk – high reward TYPE kind of guy . The kind who likes to ID check and SSN double-check everyone involved with him. Not a bad way of running things, I guess.

Rare is the exact TYPE opposite . His only principle is not to have any. When he smells something good, he eats it right up. He doesn’t care about risk or reward. A pig FUCK bastard who’s satisfied just to be in on the action. Or rather, if he doesn’t have a finger in all of the pies, he starts getting anxious, and turns into an unstable junkie who gets high on off-label SUPPLEMENTS pills . He fancies himself a PRODUCER big-shot , trusted and admired by all those around him. He cooks up these arrangements, and then basks in everyone’s approval, bragging his ass off to all the WHORES ladies at the bar and his SHITHEADS entourage . Just making eye contact with this guy makes me want to vomit. At some point, I’m planning to take my bat to his JUST MEAT skull . Cannot fucking wait.

Rare: “I’ve already made the necessary arrangements, this one’s on me. Always in your best interest to do business directly, huh, Mr. Birkin?”

BIRKIN: “Can it, loser. Give me the lowdown already.”

RARE: “It’s been a while since I’ve had the honor of working with such a BATMAN heavy-hitter . You’ve been on my mind, you know? Wasting talent is a horrible crime, even worse than murder!”

This guy’s speeches are both long-winded and meaningless. DUMBASS I endured that drivel until THE PIG FUCK he was satisfied, then headed out to the scene.

It’s an easy enough job. Just kill one man at the new construction site. Places with a lot of blind spots and dead spaces are the best setups in this business. They’re also great for OFFICE LOVE romance . The mark sits on a chair in a partially completed living room with no ceiling. What a well-behaved target.

SAMAYORU: “Welcome to GREENLAND Paradise .”

Last night’s HOME-RUN victory must have been a no-contest, then.

July 2nd, 3:11 PM
Construction site of a new building

[1] The same term (身元抹消) is used in The 25th Ward in regards to Kamijo having his identity erased.


I will die in five days.

There’s been no sign of Curtis Blackburn. Maybe, just maybe, DAN the Devil already ERASED got rid of him. But if that was case, he would have contacted me… Now I just have to stay calm and wait. Nice and quiet. I’ll hold my breath and still my AURA heart until I can sense Curtis Blackburn’s killer instinct through my entire body. I don’t need any damn pride. In the world of killing, the ability to not get killed is the bare minimum. There’s also something to be said for calling your losses. That’s right – DUMBASS I can’t kill Curtis Blackburn. I have no choice but to own up to the reality that’s in front of me.

Besides, it’s as if I’ve already been killed by that DAN Devil. The moment he showed up at my door, I lost control of my bladder for the first time in my life. The legendary BATMAN hitting machine , reduced to a MOTHERFUCKER loser pissing his pants. What an all-time low. Makes me want to die… Might as well hand myself over to Curtis Blackburn right now. Knowing him, if I just show up without telling him I have five days left, he’ll probably just kill me straight away. That’s not a bad idea, actually. I’ll just get ready and then I’ll go see him. I’ll be dressing for my own funeral – I should get my hands on a TUXEDO nice suit .

MILLS: “If you’re planning to die, it’d be best to go with your work clothes. Dying on the job is befitting of a killer.”

BIRKIN: “No thanks! I’ve got my heart set on going out all HAUTE COUTURE dressed to the nines .”

MILLS“In that case… you should hurry up and get changed.”

BIRKIN: “Huh? What do you mean?”

MILLS“Don’t ask questions, just listen to me. You need to get out of here immediately. You might get put down before Curtis even gets to you!”

BIRKIN“The hell’s that supposed to mean? You’re not making any sense. An informant who can’t communicate is as good as dead.”

MILLS“That’s my genuine advice. I’m begging you, take it to heart, because it’s real bad news. Curtis isn’t the only one targeting you.”

BIRKIN“I’m that popular, huh?”

MILLS“Yeah. The guys from Antwerp got here on a boat yesterday.”

BIRKIN“What happened to ‘next weekend’?”

MILLS“That’s why I’m here – it’s that dangerous.”

BIRKIN“So what’s their angle?”

MILLS“Remember that experimental drug? They’re disposing of all the test subjects. You’re the only one left. If we stay here, it’s only a matter of time before they get us.”

BIRKIN“Then hurry up, you DUMBASS idiot !”

MILLS“That’s what I keep telling you!”

BIRKIN: “… Mills, what’s your car again?”

MILLS“A Lincoln, you know that.”

BIRKIN“So then, the black one that parked just now. That creepy-ass car right there.Whoever’s in there is here to kill you, isn’t it?”

MILLS“Bingo… I guess?”

The gunshot had excellent timing.

July 3rd, 7:05 AM
Shigeki Birkin’s Apartment

At the discretion of Christopher Mills, I was brought to a luxury hotel.

He dropped me off at the roundabout and got out of there real quick. Didn’t even say goodbye. I’ve heard that usually, guys who survive on the battlefield together end up developing a strong bond of camaraderie, but in this area, Mills lacks the basic SPECS requirements to be considered human. There’s no cure for a SHITHEAD bad upbringing . Straight out of the orphanage, full of tenacity and blind ambition, he wears his overconfidence like a badge of honor, and is unyieldingly selfish; yet a shadow of doubt hides in the depths of his eyes. Those are the eyes of someone who’s gripped by fear. Yeah, that’s it. Just like that guy, the POSTAL WORKER mailman . He had the same eyes. So did that guy from my SAMAYORU nightmare . All these guys have something in common… I understand it subconsciously, but I can’t quite put my finger on what that ‘something’ is. What could it be…? Being caught up in those eyes… There’s no point in thinking about it, and yet it worries me.

RECEPTIONIST: “Mr. Birkin, correct? We’ve been expecting you.”

BIRKIN: “Sharp one, aren’t you?”

RECEPTIONIST“Of course. You’re an important client of Mr. Blackburn.”

BIRKIN“… Who arranged this?”

RECEPTIONIST“Curtis Blackburn is waiting for you on the top floor.”

BIRKIN“Was it Mills? Damn brat, he set me up.”

RECEPTIONIST“Let me escort you.”

BIRKIN“Sorry, I’ve got an emergency and…”

RECEPTIONIST“Mr. Blackburn is a very impatient man. Please, let’s proceed.”

I felt the prickling sensation of bloodlust on every inch of my skin. I’ve been honing this sense. Curtis Blackburn is definitely here. I’m behind enemy lines. This hotel is under CURTIS’ his management. No, actually… it’d be more accurate to call it CURTIS’ his property. It’s his get-away. The GOOD LOOKING GUY receptionist is giving me his best smile, but it’s not out of courtesy. It’s a condescending smile, one that looks down on you. Someday, I’d like to give this guy a nice, HEAVEN SMILE angelic grin on his way to the afterlife.

After considering my options, I decided to accept my fate. It’d be a breeze to kill the GOOD LOOKING GUY receptionist here in the elevator, but that’d get me nowhere. I CAN SEE know that unless I meet with Curtis Blackburn, the whole plan falls apart. The plan itself is fine, but the phrase ‘a broken spirit’ seems to fit my situation. The enormity of CURTIS’ his killer instinct has completely drained me of energy. It’s the birth of a new, lethargic human being! That’s where I’m at right now. I’ve got no choice but to follow my inner BADMAN dumbass , and that comes natural.

I thought back to my epic saga to give myself some courage, sort of a psychological DOPING pick-me-up . Doing that job for Rare and fending off those Antwerp goons, no one can deny my performance was spectacular.

We arrived on the top floor.

RECEPTIONIST“Mr. Blackburn is waiting for you inside.”

BIRKIN“That’s a nice smile.”

RECEPTIONIST“Thank you. I practice it every day.”


RECEPTIONIST“Mr. Blackburn, it is my pleasure to introduce to you Mr. Birkin.”

The room was empty. Curtis’ aura disappeared completely. He’s not here; in fact, no one’s here. There’s no fooling NEWTYPE POWERS my nose anymore.

RECEPTIONIST“If you’ll excuse me.”

BIRKIN“Hold on, what the hell is this?”

The GOOD LOOKING GUY receptionist left the room without a word. What a nice asshole. Next time, I’ll definitely kill him. Definitely… Definitely……

Huh? Oh shit, DIARRHEA literal shit . My breakfast cereal had gone bad. Definitely risky to let the expiration date exceed five months. I’ll engrave that knowledge into my heart. Three months is the longest it can go. I dumped my newfound resolve into the toilet, but as I opened the door… It was time for a heartfelt reunion.

SAMAYORU: “Hello there, Mr. Birkin!
What a coincidence.”

BIRKIN“If it isn’t Samayoru[1]! You’re right, it is a crazy coincidence. We must be bound by fate. That must be it, right?”

SAMAYORU“Still alive and kicking, I see. You look well.”

BIRKIN“So, what is it this time?”

SAMAYORU“My request is pretty much the same. Please, guide me to GREENLAND Paradise . Though my body may perish, I can never truly die.”

BIRKIN“I must be losing my mind…”

SAMAYORU“I don’t want to hear that from the Batman. You were in GREAT SWING top form during our last encounter.”

BIRKIN“Can I ask you a serious question?”

SAMAYORU“That’s still a breach of contract.”

BIRKIN“My question is about the contract, too. Just how many times do I have to kill you? I’m already taking a loss here. Just let me off the hook.”

SAMAYORU“That’s not what I asked of you. I just want you to KNOCK ME OUT erase my identity .”

BIRKIN“That’s why I’m asking, I don’t know how to ‘erase‘ someone. Can’t I just kill you?”

SAMAYORU: “You probably just need more training. Even the legendary BATMAN hitting machine needs to practice every day. A true SLUGGER heavy-hitter knows how to forge his inner discipline. Have you been slacking on your exercises, Mr. Birkin?”

BIRKIN“This is going nowhere. There’s no point in talking. Feel free to come back anytime. Come see me every god damn day until I’m dead! I’ll send you flying every single time.”

SAMAYORU“Well then, I’ll be waiting for you in GREENLAND Paradise .”

BIRKIN“See you around, Samayoru.”

SAMAYORU“You have a lovely smile, Mr. Birkin.”

July 3rd, 1:30 PM
Hotel Don’t Move

Today is July 3rd.

I have a lot of work to do in the next four days. Today is scouting day, but I’m not in a position to go out. I called Roswell and Phillip to explain my current situation, but they didn’t listen to me at all. They thought I was making up excuses. Those FUCKING damned SHITS bastards . As if that weren’t enough, they told me they’d lower my cut. They think they can just parade Castiglione’s influence around as if it were their own. Castiglione has been GODFATHER the boss of SEATTLE my hometown since as far back as I can remember. He’s the kind of big shot who can mobilize thousands with the blink of an eye. His relationship with Curtis Blackburn and his gang of upstart thugs is pretty shaky; He’s letting that punk run free at the moment, but I don’t think the Don will be silent forever. He knows that Curtis will come after his head eventually. From the outside, Castiglione’s faction seems at the end of its rope. That pressure is what was putting ROSWELL Fuckhead and PHILLIP Shithead on edge. They’re just two ASSHOLES small fries , who like to hire DUMBASS me as an FREE independent agent to handle their dirty work by taking advantage of Castiglione’s influence. Sometimes they even delay my payment by setting up a meeting in the afternoon. I had to take SHITHEAD Phillip ‘s mistakes out of my paycheck more than once. Whatever, it’s only a matter of time. Curtis Blackburn is coming to pick me up in four days’ time. Maybe I’ll send ROSWELL Fuckhead and PHILLIP Shithead to GREENLAND Paradise before that happens. An oversized home-run. I’ll send the bill to GODFATHER the boss too. Fleece those guys for all they’ve got.

RECEPTIONIST: “Mr. Birkin, there’s a guest for you. Shall I accompany them to your room?”

BIRKIN: “Who is it?”

RECEPTIONIST: “Of course, right away. Please, follow me.”

BIRKIN“Hey, hold on! Did you even listen to me?”

The service at this hotel sure knows the score. If you don’t leave a nice tip, you get the boot. Or maybe I should say, you get the bat. You’ve got to be real generous to get the VIP treatment.

“Are you the famous BATMAN heavy-hitter ?”

BIRKIN“Who are you?!”

“Could you let me in first? We’ve got a lot to talk about.”

BIRKIN“Go home already!”

“That won’t do. This is not the kind of offer you can turn down. It’s a compulsory request, you understand?”

BIRKIN: “Are you threatening me?”

“Open up already.”

There he is, the man of the hour. Though I doubt he’s bringing good news. A double-breasted suit and striped necktie, hair neatly slicked back with POMADE oil . He looks at me with a fiery gaze, staring right into my soul. A terrifying glare. He opened his BRIEFCASE bag and laid out some FILES documents . By licking his fingers and getting the pages wet, his well-trained hands were able to flip, flip, flip, flip through the FILES documents at lightning speed…

BIRKIN“So, who are you?”

PEDRO: “Huh? Oh, right, I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Pedro Montana. Pleased to make your acquaintance. I’m Curtis Blackburn’s personal attorney. I came here today at his request.”

BIRKIN: “Is that so? Is he finally making a move? What are you, some corrupt lawyer?”

PEDRO“Corruption is completely inexcusable. Don’t you agree? An honest lawyer can make a killing from high-profile clients.”

BIRKIN“Why are you here, then?”

PEDRO“Take it easy, this won’t take long. I’m here to confirm your identity for the insurance. I just need to make sure you’re the real Shigeki Birkin. I’ll have to collect a few signatures. It’s no big deal, just RELAX make yourself comfortable .”

BIRKIN“Let’s see… What’s this thing you want me to sign?”

PEDRO“Huh? Does it matter? You really need to know? You’re going to die anyway, you know.”

BIRKIN“I’m just curious. It’s not like I need to know, but if I kill you right now, then I’ll never get to ask you.”

PEDRO“I wouldn’t try anything if I were you. I may not be a killer, but the bodyguards standing outside that door are way beyond your level. You wouldn’t stand a chance.”

BIRKIN: “Wow, guess I should have known. You can never be too careful, huh? You really thought of everything.”

PEDRO“Of course. That’s what a smart lawyer does.”

BIRKIN“Then, how about this?”

All in all, it took roughly 10 seconds. Nah, maybe I fudged the numbers a little… Alright, 18 seconds were more than enough to take them down. Working as a bodyguard doesn’t put you on the brink of life or death, and your emotions read easy, right on your face. Three guys – three lowballs. I’m aiming for a foul. It’s as easy as aiming for a tree – The hit rate is ONE HUNDRED 100% . Then, once they fall, a full swing to the head. This isn’t baseball, it’s golf. What BULLSHIT a letdown . Golf is tacky and disgusting. Makes me want to puke.

BIRKIN“So, who’s up to bat? A good lawyer like you can never be too careful, isn’t that right? You must have someone else lined up.”


BIRKIN“You want to go next?”

PEDRO: “Let’s negotiate. Just you and me. Private negotiations.”

BIRKIN“Where do you want me to hit?
Any parts you’re particularly attached to?”

PEDRO“Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait HEY! ANYBODY, HEEEEEELP!!!”

The winds of change are blowing. A good catch has fallen into my lap. Maybe, just maybe, I might still be allowed to live. By Curtis Blackburn… What should I do? How do I use this to my advantage?

That’s right, I’ve still got a trump card up my sleeve – the Devil.

I have to find Dan Smith.

July 3rd, 6:12 PM
Hotel Don’t Move

[1] Lit. “Samayoru-kun”, indicating an informal tone.


I will die in four days.

My SKULL head is pounding. I drank as much as I could – top shelf Californian wine for no less than 500$ a bottle. Must have downed around 40 of them, ’cause I’m about to pass out. Pedro is lying on his side, having a fit. Looks like a carp thrashing around in the dirt. The other one’s SNORING lying on the bed, sleeping like a baby with a SICK creepy smile on his face, as if dreaming of a luxurious life.

Christopher Mills is not the most cautious kid. As soon as he smells BIG MONEY a deal , his nose perks up and his eyes shut down. When I called him, he showed up at the hotel in less than 8 minutes. A real cash money guy. I knocked BASTARD Pedro around a bit, scared the shit out of the LOSER guy , but I didn’t kill him. I told him to make some shit up and ask Mills to run the blockade to settle accounts between Curtis and Castiglione. The bait smelled a bit fishy, but sharks are known for their quick bite. Mills ate it right up.

Last night, the three of us carefully planned the settlement talks over some wine. It was actually pretty exciting. Mills was all giddy about the VIP luxury box seat he had been offered, complete with a full-course dinner for two at the best RING theater in Seattle, while the executives have to watch from the audience seats. It’s just a freakshow by a different name, and the executives are relegated to the supporting act. An exceptional card to rival any year-end MMA BIG FIGHT Grudge Match – the finest MAFIOSO showman couldn’t have done any better. This show is going to be like a fireworks blowout. A dreamy fantasia that transports you from the RINGSIDE front-row to the world beyond, with lavish flashes of color.

So, here’s a question.

Q: How do you take out Seattle’s Top Two? You have 30 seconds to come up with the right answer. If you run out of time, you die.

The answer is simple: Mills booked someone to kill both of them… I can’t remember who it was though. In fact, I can’t remember jack shit. I feel like I’m going to blow chunks. Was it DUMBASS me ?
Wine is just a poison that wipes your memory. Quit fucking around, Birkin, this is important! You have to remember! Who has the best shot at killing Curtis and and Castiglione? 30 seconds is pretty short. I don’t wanna die in a shithole like this!

DAN: “That’s easy. That would be DARK STAR me .”

BIRKIN: “That’s right, I knew that one!”

DAN The Devil is sitting on the sofa, chugging his WINE poison .

July 4th, 10:18 AM
Hotel Don’t Move

Try to keep up with the FAIRY TALE story I’m about to tell you.

Imagine the best FUCK ride of your life. Taking your brand-new Trans Am on a trip down south, along the coast, to your destination. Farewell to the north, MIRACLES your wildest dreams are waiting down south. I’m done with this gloomy, damp town. The West Coast is calling me. I’m going to make a name for myself somewhere else. That’s right, with a bouquet of a BITCH dame in the passenger seat. BITCH She ‘ll definitely GO CRAZY fall for me after I get a good, headliner job. I’ve got to stand out if I want to age into a stylish, LEON daddy , the kind that a flashy NIKITA femme fatale can’t resist. My only adversary will become HERNIA back pain . That is, until THAT CUNT she drags me into a battlefield of courts and lawyers. That’d be the life… it could even outshine GREENLAND Paradise .

So what the hell is going on here? Sure, the WHORE lovely lady in the passenger seat is dolled up alright, but she’s flashing a huge fucking revolver. Is this some new Fendi shit? They really went all out with the bold design concepts. Is that how you were picturing it?

Now let me tell you what’s actually happening. It’s true, I’m driving, but I’m also being taken for a ride. Glancing to my side, rather than the beautiful legs of a BROAD dame , I see DAN the Devil ’s REVOLVER handgun glistening with bloodlust. In other words, I’m going on a Death Drive.

BIRKIN: “Dan, can I ask you something?”

DAN: “What, you wanna go on a date?”

BIRKIN: “… What?”

DAN: “If that’s what you want, I’ll take you out.”

A figure of speech becomes a figure of death. Not a bad pun, if I do say so myself.[1]

DAN: “I will tell you one thing.”

BIRKIN: “What, you wanna propose?”

I don’t even wanna think about what happened next. That MONSTER son of a bitch shot my right hand, blew my little finger clean off. For a left-handed batter, the pinky grip is a crucial PRECISION MACHINE tool that can control the direction of the ball down to the millimeter. My PERFORMANCE FEE batting average is definitely gonna take a hit. If I wasn’t driving, I would bash DAN his brains out right here and now, it’d be an easy home-run at this distance. Losing a finger is a small price to pay to kill the Devil himself. But the time is not yet right, and besides, GODDESS Lady Luck ‘s still not returning DUMBASS my calls.

DAN: DUMBASS You comin’ after me? Huh? Don’t mix up your targets.”

BIRKIN: “The fuck are you on about? Curtis is the one we’re after. That ain’t changing.”

DAN: “Do you really think you have CRIMINAL POWER what it takes to take down your KILLER7 superiors ?
You’ve got the killer instinct of a booger.”

BIRKIN: “What the hell…”

DAN: “Listen carefully. I don’t like to repeat myself. Words are the prelude to action. Every word you say is recorded. They’re recorded within TAPE RECORDER yourself as statements of your intentions. Statements move people. If words are what spurs the world into action, then every word must carry the resolve of a monolith. You can’t afford to make mistakes. Even a shitty assassin like you should at least make sure to spell-check his manifesto.”

BIRKIN: “Yeah… You’ve carved that lesson into my pinky finger.”

DAN: “A big mouth can spell TROUBLE disaster for the rest of your body, and for your soul. Watch it, or next time I won’t hesitate to kill you.”

The way I see it, DAN the Devil ’s the one who stirs up TROUBLE disaster . No, no – his very existence is a TROUBLE disaster . I’m driving with TROUBLE disaster towards TROUBLE disaster . Is something even worse waiting at our destination?

The sun beats down on the Trans Am. The heat was boiling my brain, while terror boiled my heart. I have no clue what I’m trying to say, but the point is, I’m at my limit. I shouldn’t have made a deal with DAN the Devil .

We arrived at Castiglione’s mansion.

July 4th, 12:00 PM
Castiglione’s Mansion

I don’t remember how many henchmen there were.

But there were a lot of ’em. There must have been more than 100 PUNKS henchmen [2] in the mansion. With his careful aim and lightning-speed reloading, Dan made short work of PUNKS them. He made it look as easy as shooting stationary targets in the bowling alley’s arcade shooter – Castiglione’s PUNKS goons are actually a fairly agile bunch. A crafty PUNK one might take cover, sneak up on you and then shoot you at point-blank range. But for some reason, bullets can’t seem to hit DAN the Devil .

As my eyes gradually got used to it, I realized he was reading the trajectory of the bullet and dodging it, wavering like a flame in the wind. This guy’s killing ability is in a different league – I was mesmerized just watching him. Being able to pick up tricks like is directly linked to your criminal power. The reason I’m stuck as a cheap BATMAN hitting machine is because I’m missing the TECHNO repetition of basic practice. By comparison, DAN the Devil is like a home-run COMPUTER calculator , it’s a completely different system. There’s no way I could match up.

All of the small fries have been taken out. Castiglione is the only one left.

BIRKIN: “Do me a favor. Promise you won’t kill Castiglione.”

DAN: “I can’t make any promises. Do you know why? My gun takes on a life of its own when it sees a rotten face. All DUMBASS you can do is pray.”

BIRKIN: “We need him alive. The goal is to get a meeting with Curtis. Don’t forget that.”

DAN: “A meeting? Not interested.”

It’s all over. The PROJECT plan is ruined. ONE HUNDRED 100% fucked.

CASTIGLIONE: “You’re a tenacious little bastard.”

DAN: “That’s right. I’m here to kill you, and there’s no stopping me now.”

CASTIGLIONE: “No need to rush things, let’s have a leisurely chat. Sit with me.”

DAN: “Don’t talk to me like that if you care about your life, scumbag.”

CASTIGLIONE: “‘Scumbag’ is a bit cold, isn’t it? Mario is fine. Just call me Mario.”

DAN: “Well then, Mario. I’m going to offer you a choice.”


DAN: “I could kill Curtis and let you live. Or I could kill you and let Curtis live. Which will it be?”

CASTIGLIONE: “Can I ask you a question before I answer?”

DAN: “I don’t mind.”

CASTIGLIONE: “What’s your name, kid?”

BIRKIN: “That’s Dan Smith. Pretty good, isn’t he?”

CASTIGLIONE: “I wasn’t asking your PUNK sidekick . Shut the fuck up. Is he really with you?”

DAN: THAT DUMBASS He ’s just the driver. No more, no less.”

CASTIGLIONE: “Back to my question. Dan, what’s your play in all this? Neither side seems very profitable. What’s your objective?”

DAN: “Objective?”

CASTIGLIONE: “That’s right. Your goal.”

DAN: “Don’t ask me. Ask the DUMBASS driver .”


BIRKIN: “The goal is to have a sit down with you and Curtis. The two biggest names in Seattle, teaming up. For that to happen, I need Dan.”

CASTIGLIONE: “Why do you need him in particular?”

BIRKIN: “Well, that’s… we want you to take over. Dan will kill Curtis at the meeting.”


BIRKIN: “What do you mean?”

CASTIGLIONE: “Why do you want him dead?”

BIRKIN: “I told you, it’s so you can get to the top.”

CASTIGLIONE: “Your facade has slipped. Well, I guess I could see through it from the start.”

BIRKIN: “Huh?”

CASTIGLIONE: “That’s a pretty flimsy plan. How stupid are you, trying to put me in the same room as CURTIS him ?”

BIRKIN: “No, that’s not what I meant.”

CASTIGLIONE: “What a shame that your stupidity wasted so many of my men.”

BIRKIN: “Shit!”

CASTIGLIONE: “You’re not getting out of here alive…”

DAN: “Oh, how do you figure that?”

Castiglione blew the whistle hanging around his neck. As the sound echoed through the mansion, I could hear the sound of swarming footsteps, ten, twenty… more and more just sprouting up. No, no, they’re countless. We’re talking hundreds of FAMILY MEN troops .

Roswell and Phillip entered the room first, ready for trouble. But what caught my eye was the crowd behind them… They look familiar. I’ve seen them before, quite recently too. Yeah, it’s that guy. They’re all Samayoru. Maybe two to three hundred Samayoru. When you see that many identical faces, your instincts tell you something’s wrong. Am I dreaming? Is this an illusion?

BIRKIN: “Dan, can I ask you something?”

DAN: “Now’s not the time for romance, Birkin.”[1]

BIRKIN: “I’m serious, don’t get mad. Are you seeing this too? An army of people with the SAMA- same face…”

DAN: “‘ COPIES same faces ‘, huh. Yeah, I see them clear as day. Because they’re my TARGET prey .”

BIRKIN: “Huh?”

DAN: “These things aren’t people. They’re TERRORISTS tactical weapons .”

BIRKIN: “Samayoru is a TERRORIST tactical weapon ?”

DAN: “Look, humans are all share the same framework. Emotions and environment then give birth to individual differences. This is just basic subtraction. Subtracting the emotions and environment.”

BIRKIN: “The same framework? What are you talking about?”

DAN: “You’re slower than usual, asking all these stupid questions. Mario is desperate. The stakes are too high.”

The inside of the mansion is becoming a strange space. Roswell and Phillip’s faces are slowly morphing into Samayoru’s.

CASTIGLIONE: “You’re going to die here, so that you can become raw material for your country.”

ROSWELL: “Come with us, Birkin. Hurry up.”

PHILLIP: “It’s only a matter of time. Have faith in the efficacy of that drug. It’s never wrong!”

DAN: “I’m seeing your true colors now. What will you do?”

BIRKIN: “What will I do? The fuck do you mean?”

DAN: “You don’t understand yet?”

BIRKIN: “Understand what?”

DAN: “You’re one of them. You have the same face.”

BIRKIN: “You’re full of shit! There’s no way that’s…”

DAN: “Why would I be bullshitting you? Go look in a mirror if you don’t believe me.”

BIRKIN: “…… Damn it!”

I rushed to the mirror in the back of the room, certain of my appearance…

What a fucking letdown. When I looked in the mirror, Samayoru looked back.

He was smiling at me.

July 4th, 2:48 PM
Castiglione’s Mansion

[1] The joke was originally an untranslatable Japanese pun, which is reprised a few times through the chapter. The most literal translation would be “Dan Smith, can I ask you one thing?” “Really just one? If it was two, what would happen?” “Huh?” “I’ll kill you immediately/on the spot.” which obviously does not translate directly. The pun between “going on a date” and “being taken out” was the best replacement I could think of. Here’s an explanation of the original pun:

So, what I think the joke is here is with やる (yaru). Generally, this is the verb that simply means to do (can be a little vulgar depending on the context) and is used in a wide variety of circumstances. So, 即座にやる would mean ‘I’ll do it immediately’. So I think in the case of their conversation, ‘If you asked two things, then I’d answer immediately.’ or something like that.
However, やる can also mean ‘to kill’ and can be written with the kanji with that meaning, so 殺る. Then, 即座に殺る becomes ‘I’ll kill you immediately’. The conversation is then ‘If you ask two things, I’ll kill you immediately.’

[2] Lit. “Chinpira”, a low ranking, expendable Yakuza. Yakuza lingo is used several times through the story to explain Mafia hierarchies.


I’m going to die in three days.

I cried in front of my mirror until dawn. I cried and cried and cried… I couldn’t stop. Every time I saw my face, I started to cry. Samayoru would always look back at me with a ghastly SMILE grin . He was laughing, though he wanted to cry. I wanted to laugh, but I kept crying. And so we laughed, and we cried.

SAMAYORU He looks like he really needs someone to talk to, even though he’s SAMAYORU me . I guess retirement can get pretty boring.

SAMAYORU: “Mr. Birkin, you look well.”

BIRKIN: “You think so?”

SAMAYORU: “You’ve got a nice smile on your face.”

BIRKIN: “Right back at ya. You’ve got one creepy face.”

SAMAYORU: “I agree, you make a very good impression of me.”

BIRKIN: “I’ll send your head flying.”

SAMAYORU: “One of your oversized home-runs? I look forward to it.”

BIRKIN: “You know, it’s strange…”

SAMAYORU: “What is?”

BIRKIN: “Whenever I meet you, it’s like I’m free from any fear of death.”

SAMAYORU: “I’m honored to be of service.”

BIRKIN: “But still, I can’t stop crying. My tears keep on flowing without end.”

SAMAYORU: “And why is that?”

BIRKIN: “It can’t be sadness, but it’s not happiness either, or pain. Maybe it just means I’m ready.”

SAMAYORU: “Ah, yes, I understand your feelings all too well.”

BIRKIN: “Don’t coddle me.”

SAMAYORU: “You and I are one, Mr. Birkin. Your SMILE tears are my tears. Your SMILE wavering heart is also my own. The true depths of your SMILE resignation are etched inside of me as well.”

BIRKIN: “How noble. I’m amazed I could even bring myself to acknowledge your existence. Why do you haunt me?”

SAMAYORU: “You’re not the only one. HEAVEN Your SMILES neighbors are also in need of me. They’re in the same situation.”

BIRKIN: “So there’s other guys who can see you? Are they experiencing the same thing?”

SAMAYORU: “My form is visible to all HEAVEN your SMILES neighbors . I don’t know the reason; however, my role is simple. I am merely a lancet that relieves their pain.”

BIRKIN: “Just a prick, huh? You think you’re really something, don’t you?”

SAMAYORU: “The tumors inside you cause unbelievable pain, that’s what creates the HEAVEN SMILES smiling faces . To fight that pain, you need to laugh. I’m just a prick that makes you SMILE laugh .”

BIRKIN: “I don’t get it at all.”

SAMAYORU: “You will, sooner or later. Before long, pain will become the master of your mortified body. That’s when I’ll get to work.”

BIRKIN: “Are you fucking kidding me?”

SAMAYORU: “Does this look like a face that would tell a joke?”

BIRKIN: “But you’re laughing!”

SAMAYORU: “That’s just the face I was born with.”

BIRKIN: “Bullshit.”

SAMAYORU: “You’re a funny guy, Mr. Birkin.”

BIRKIN: “Do you mind if I get something off my chest?”

SAMAYORU: “Do as you like.”

BIRKIN: “I really hate this town. I’ve had enough of it.”

SAMAYORU: “I understand.”

BIRKIN: “Everyone here is damp. Mold grows on their hearts. I’m serious. If you were to open up my corpse, you’d find moss growing inside of it.”

SAMAYORU: “I understand.”

BIRKIN: “This life is a death sentence. There’s no CASH FLOW air flow . And I’m not talking about the humidity – you can’t get rich, no matter who you are. It’s not just a SOCIETY structural issue. Once you’ve fallen off the train, you can’t just climb back on.”

SAMAYORU: “I understand.”

BIRKIN: “And yet people cling to this town, they cling to its syndicates, longing desperately for some unlikely stroke of luck that’ll finally make it worth your while. That’s what everyone does. That’s what I do.”

SAMAYORU: “I understand.”

BIRKIN: “Of course, everyone’s got a breaking point. But I’m still looking for an opening, still waiting for a chance to sneak in.”

SAMAYORU: “I understand.”

BIRKIN: “I know it’s nonsense, but I still believe that… someday, somehow, I’m going to get a big job. From the East Coast, or the Windy City, somewhere. I can’t let go of my faith. I’m still waiting for that day. That’s what Paradise is to me: a world within sight, but forever out of reach.”

SAMAYORU: “I understand.”

BIRKIN: “I know I’ll never reach it, I know it, and yet I can’t leave this town.”

SAMAYORU: “I understand.”

BIRKIN: “You know, you’re a really good listener…”

SAMAYORU: “There’s a trick to it.”

BIRKIN: “What’s the trick?”

SAMAYORU: “Don’t let your eyes wander.”

BIRKIN: “??”

SAMAYORU: “That’s the best way to deal with unstable people. They tend to relax when they can fix their eyes onto something immovable.”

BIRKIN: “Is that so…”

SAMAYORU: “It’s a rule of thumb. I’ve dealt with tens of thousands of people with death written on their faces, it always works.”

BIRKIN: “A wealth of experience, huh? Big deal.”

SAMAYORU: “Feel free to ask me anything. I shall answer at the best of my abilities.”

BIRKIN: “Well, there’s something that’s always on my mind. Why Curtis Blackburn? Why has he targeted me?”


BIRKIN: “Does it have something to do with you?”


BIRKIN: “Hey, are you there?”

SAMAYORU: “… Hahaha.”

BIRKIN: “Huh?”

SAMAYORU: “Yeah, I wonder…”

BIRKIN: “Are you listening to me?”


BIRKIN: “Tell me what he wants. Why he needs to take me out. The reason he’s sunk so low as to grace a BATMAN hitting machine like me with his acquaintance.”

SAMAYORU: “Curtis Blackburn… Who’s that?”

BIRKIN: “He’s the one who’s coming after me. I have no idea why. But since he sent me that death notice, you’ve suddenly entered my life, and even a ferocious devil has gotten involved… This has to be all connected, am I wrong?”

SAMAYORU: “It’s a series of silly coincidences. You’re just the kind of person who flirts with TROUBLE disaster , Mr. Birkin.”

BIRKIN: “If you know so much, you should be able to answer. Who am I?”

SAMAYORU: “I’m afraid Zen philosophy is not my area of expertise.”

BIRKIN: “Then, who are you?”

SAMAYORU:Hahaha. What do you think?”

BIRKIN: “I changed my mind, I really TABOO don’t want to know.”

SAMAYORU: “You are… haha… looking for punctuation in life.”

BIRKIN: “Not this shit again. You’re in control, right?”

SAMAYORU: “I can offer you an answer for what you seek.”

BIRKIN: “Alright, time to see what makes you tick…”

SAMAYORU: “You’re up to bat. Are you able to return the pitch Curtis Blackburn will throw?”

BIRKIN: “There we go, I think I got it. Right or left – which kneecap will it be? Is this one OK?”

SAMAYORU:Hahaha. Please stop. Pffffft. It’s just too funny. You’re gonna break my bones! HAHAHAHA!

BIRKIN: “‘Course I am, your left knee is a bloody mess. I call it ‘ SHIGEKI stimulation [1] therapy‘. Try to hang in there for a bit.”

SAMAYORU:Bwahaha! Stop, stop, I’m gonna laugh myself to death! Hahahahaha! It’s too painful! Pffffft… It hurts. It hurts. It hurts! Puahahahahahaha!

BIRKIN: “I guess that wasn’t enough…”


Finally, it broke. I swung over and over at the swollen red kneecap until all that was left of it was just meat. A series of critical hits. Samayoru erupts with laughter. He’s convulsing like he’s going to die of laughter.

SAMAYORU’S His smile was filled with madness, though. Little by little, his eyes stopped smiling. It’s a lot to take in. That terror was no laughing matter. A face that leaves a strong impression. He sits deeply into the sofa, looks me straight in the face, and smiles piercingly.

SAMAYORU: “Now then, let’s get down to business.”

BIRKIN: “What?”

SAMAYORU: “I shall tell you my true identity. I am the prototype for the ‘smiling faces‘. A ‘thing‘ manufactured in the shape of man. A being deprived of all information. All that remains is a smile.”

BIRKIN: “I don’t follow.”

SAMAYORU: “You will. Soon enough you’ll be left a husk as well.”

BIRKIN: “That’s not gonna happen.”

SAMAYORU:” Your joints are already aching, aren’t they?”

BIRKIN: “Nope, not at all, I’m fine. Picture of health.”

SAMAYORU: “You can’t lie to me, Mr. Birkin.”

BIRKIN: “Ugh!”

A sharp pain ran through my neck. It was so bad it overwhelmed me, I couldn’t stand… my consciousnessfaded… away…

July 5th, 4:44 AM
Shigeki Birkin’s Apartment

I can’t believe the scene playing out in front of my eyes.

Dan Smith is standing in front of Curtis Blackburn’s special VIP seat, with Mario Castiglione’s freshly severed head as a souvenir. The tension is indescribable. The spark of their so-called AURA criminal power is giving me a headache; It was like being exposed to some crazy electromagnetic waves.

Dan placed the miserable head onto a fruit platter that was sitting on the table. A proper Castiglione Sundae. Curtis doesn’t flinch or change expressions one bit, which irritates the hell out of Dan. And I… Well… my bat-holding hand is drenched in sweat.

CURTIS: “just tell me what you want, kid. No need to scare the girls.”

DAN: “How about it? It’s an adequate gift, this head. All I want is an executive[2] job. Not a bad deal, is it?”

CURTIS: “Don’t get ahead of yourself. You wouldn’t know what to do with that kind of generosity, so I’ll do you a favor and take you under me.”

DAN: “What, you wanna give me orders?”

CURTIS: “Are you dissatisfied?”

DAN: “If you really can, then do it by force.”

CURTIS: DOMINATING Taking down prideful brats is quite easy, but… I don’t want to break your self-confidence.”

DAN: “You think you can break me? You callin’ me soft?!”

CURTIS: “It seems that way.”

DAN: “I’ll make you disappear, then.”

It’s the most explosive situation of the century.

July 5th, 8:06 PM
‘Rolling Thunder’ Nightclub

[1] A pun. Stimulation can also be pronounced as Shigeki (刺激).
[2] Lit. Kanbu, a high-ranking Yakuza.


I’m going to die tomorrow.

There’s tons of stories about the way people live out their last days. ‘If you were to die tomorrow, what is the last thing you’d do?’ is a common topic of conversation. Now, that’s a problem, because RETARDS people will just interject their own BULLSHIT stupidity with lines like ‘I’m going to die!’ or ‘Oh, I died for a moment, but came back to life!’. making a fuss just to be the center of attention. That kind of BULLSHIT nonsense doesn’t really get to the heart of the problem.

If you really are going to die, that makes you a loser. It means there’s nothing you can do. Even if you struggle, even if you desperately latch on to lost hope, it’ll all slip through your fingers. Can’t save a god damn thing, and that’s the truth.

DUMBASS I ’ve got maybe 24 hours left. Tomorrow morning, Curtis will begin the day with his jogging routine. After this little warm up, at 7:00 AM he’ll scarf down a cereal-and-protein breakfast, maybe with some coffee, a helping of fruit or a tarte if he likes sweet. At around 8:00 AM he’ll be nice and refreshed and ready to get to work.

Which means I’ll be dead before 9:00 AM. That’s the safe bet. Wait a moment though… He might consider the stroke of midnight to be the start of the new day, and come meet me then. If that’s the case, I don’t even have 24 hours! You’ve gotta be shitting me. That’s a pretty important detail! I guess I’d better call ahead and find out what time Curtis will come get me. Wait, who am I even going to call? If I call Curtis, it’s gonna be a pretty short chat. Nothing more BRAINDEAD stupid than a murder DUMBASS victim calling his DICKHEAD killer . Okay then, someone in CURTIS’ his entourage? Pedro would’ve been my first thought, but he’s probably still bitter about being stripped naked and locked in the bathroom. I sent his new wife, Pamela, some juicy pictures as a wedding gift. I sure hope he enjoyed his fun little bath time, getting blackout drunk with all those BUNNY GIRLS cute girls [1], because payback’s a bitch.

I’m at my wit’s end. I’ve got no choice but to call in another favor from Mills. But first… there is one thing I need to do before I die. If I’m going to die tomorrow, this will be the last thing I do.

July 6th, 0:18 PM
Shigeki Birkin’s Apartment

I’ve never felt any desire to fall in love like a normal person.

But sometimes, love has a way of falling into your lap while you’re looking away. I know it’s just some meaningless bullshit. Strangely enough though… When you know you’re about to die, meaningless things tend to take on a life of their own, a new flavor. It’s impressive how such little things can kickstart your survival instinct. I’m not talking about me, just life in general. For me at least, that way of thinking still feels strange.

I know I’ve been pretty vague, but I’ve reached my limit. That’s all I’m going to say. I’m never going to admit that I’ve been hanging around the library lately, or that I’ve been reading philosophy books for no reason. Schopenhauer and Nietzsche, all for nothing. I thought that’d give me enough topics for a week’s worth of conversation… But I’m not gonna survive the week, am I… That’s no good, I’m becoming more and more of a pessimist. Point is, I want to talk to the DECKER library lady ! If I could caress her blonde hair, if she would grant me that wish, I could die happy.

Is it just me, or is it hot in here? I feverishly pick out a book. Grab some Sartre, head for the reception. I’m so pent up I nearly stick out my right hand and right foot at the same time.

DECKER: “Hello there.”

BIRKIN: “Hey.”

DECKER: “I see you got another complicated book today.”

BIRKIN: “It’s because I’m an idiot. I need these books to get smart.”

DECKER: “Oh no, I’m the real idiot. Even with my job being what it is, I can’t make heads or tails of these books. I only read Harlequin romances.”

BIRKIN: “That’s amazing! Harlequin romances are true philosophy. The Bible of our times.”

DECKER: “You really think so?”

BIRKIN: “Absolutely.”

DECKER: “Perhaps I should be pleased. I’m not complimented very often.”

BIRKIN: “Your name? What is your name?”

DECKER: “It’s written on the plate…”

BIRKIN: “Your first name.”

CLAUDIA: “Claudia Decker.”

BIRKIN: “Well, Claudia, shall we get out of here?”

CLAUDIA: “But I still have work…”

BIRKIN: “Is it important work?”

CLAUDIA: “Not at all.”

BIRKIN: “So we’re good to go!”

CLAUDIA: “Where to?”

BIRKIN: “Outside.”

CLAUDIA: “The outside world?”

BIRKIN: “That’s right. The wide world awaits.”

CLAUDIA: “I’ve been set free…”

BIRKIN: “Follow me.”

I grabbed Claudia’s hand and ran out of there. I can’t believe this beautiful woman would give me the time of day. I wish the clock would stop ticking so that this moment could last forever. My chest is pounding and my heart is fluttering. I stop running once we come up on the park where you can see Seattle Tower. I’m out of breath and my words fail me. Claudia, whose cheeks were just a bit flushed, looks even more beautiful and sweet.

I wonder, is the face she sees still DUMBASS my own ? Last I checked in the mirror, I was still SAMAYORU smiling . But maybe, just maybe, the face reflected in CLAUDIA her eyes would be the one of THAT DUMBASS our first meeting .

CLAUDIA: “I haven’t run this much since field track. My legs hurt…”


CLAUDIA: “I’m fine. It felt good, refreshing.”

BIRKIN: “I still can’t believe it.”

CLAUDIA: “Me neither. This is the first time I’ve skipped out on work.”

BIRKIN: “Not that – I mean, being here with you.”

CLAUDIA: “I always dreamed that someday, a mysterious stranger would take me away to see the world…”

BIRKIN: “You too, huh?”

CLAUDIA: “And when I first saw you. Mr. Birkin…”

BIRKIN: “Call me Shigeki.”

CLAUDIA: “When I saw you, Shigeki, I knew you were the one.”

BIRKIN: “Claudia, please listen to me. I don’t have that much time, so I promise I’ll keep MY SPEECH this [2] short. I give you my word that I truly mean everything I’m about to tell you. I have been in love with you since I first saw you, three months ago. I fell in love you right away. I’ve been thinking of nothing but you. I tried to forget by throwing myself into my work, but it was no good. You still dwelled within my heart. But today, my prayers were heard. Claudia, I love you with all my heart!”

CLAUDIA: “Your smile… You’re scaring me…”

I suddenly grabbed my metal bat and took a full swing. Claudia’s brain was a beautiful, innocent shade of pink, and it fell down like scattered cherry blossoms. In the end, before dying, I did not manage to do anything.

July 6th, 2:52 PM
Seattle Tower

Mills invited me to a first-class restaurant.

This could be my Last Supper… My goal is to empty his pockets and drink the finest wine he can afford.

BIRKIN: “Has something changed?”

MILLS: “I know you feel strongly about it, but I still don’t like the idea of formal attire.”

BIRKIN: “I’m choosing the wine.”

MILLS: “Doesn’t bother me.”

We drank more than 10 bottles.

MILLS: “If you drink that much, they’ll all taste the same.”

BIRKIN: “There’s still some of the branded stuff left.”

MILLS: “At least leave me a glass, Birkin. I brought a present for you. That’s why I called.”

BIRKIN: “And this present comes with a catch, I’m sure.”

MILLS: “Of course. A catch, and a lot of caution. I had to go behind some backs to get this SHIT stuff . Here, have your pick.”

BIRKIN: “It’s a pill case… What the hell is this?”

MILLS: “Open it and you’ll see.”

BIRKIN: “… Oh? This a fucking joke?”

MILLS: “This SHIT stuff ‘s what you really need. The red and blue capsules will blow your consciousness away in a haze of confusion. If you take it on the tower’s observation deck, it’ll be over before you know it. The yellow and purple capsule will make you bleed out in less than a minute. The white and black one accelerates the progression of HEAVEN SMILE Smiling Face . Gulp it down, give it five seconds, and BOOM! You’re blown to smithereens. You can choose whichever of these STEROIDS miracle cures you like.”

BIRKIN: “Is this really any better than being killed?”

MILLS: “Don’t underestimate Curtis.”

BIRKIN: “Trust me, I won’t. I met him yesterday. That guy’s PURE DARKNESS the worst of the worst .”

MILLS: “You’re going to die either way, swallowing a STEROID pill is painless. I’m saying this for your own good. There’s no reason to hesitate.”

BIRKIN: “What happens if I take all of them?”

MILLS: “Don’t be an idiot.”

BIRKIN: “Well then, watch this idiot go to town.”

MILLS: “Stop it! Birkin!”

BIRKIN:Gulp. 3… 4… 5… 6… 7? 10 seconds have passed.”

MILLS: “You jackass…”

BIRKIN: CANDY Placebos don’t work on me.”

MILLS: “So the BATMAN hitting machine isn’t all talk. I’ll toast to your stubbornness.”

BIRKIN: “If you’re going for the Romanée, let me at it first. And then call Curtis.”

MILLS:Bullseye, huh… Curtis is waiting to hear from you. I’m just an ordinary messenger.”

BIRKIN: “Bullshit. You’re an awful messenger. If you fuck me over on this, I’m knocking your head out of the park.”

July 6th, 10:30 PM
Ristorante Dioxin

[1] Lit. “Moe”
[2] Lit. “Kudoki



The expression of a short story


The connection between the world of Killer is Dead and the game


Paradise – Greenland –


The Final Chapter

One of the major themes of the story is whether Birkin dies or not, so I’m currently thinking about how to add that conclusion. Did he become a Heaven Smile? Was he killed by Curtis? There are a number of fateful conclusions that I’m thinking about writing in an interesting manner. Incidentally, of the options that remain to Birkin, there aren’t any that will allow him to survive, are there? (laughs) But I think it’s interesting to predict the developments of the final chapter with that as a base.


Shigeki Birkin

Birkin is an ordinary assassin. I wanted to write a grounded character, as opposed to those who appear in killer7. How do ordinary people see Curtis and Dan? What kind of people are they? That’s the sort of question I wanted to answer. When it comes to characters who appear during the game, Mills and Birkin are close in status. The story this time is focused on showing the point of view of an assassin, Birkin, so in that sense, I feel that he turned out to be quite good a character. Actually, there were few scenes of Birkin working, now that I look back on it. I wanted to write the job of assassination a little more. As for Birkin’s killing method, the reason why its a bat was because I wanted to name him “Batman.” So first he was named Batman; then it was decided he would kill with a bat. (laughs)

Dan Smith

Because the Dan of this time period is speaking unexpectedly, I thought it was interesting to write a Dan who talks often. I enjoyed it. Though this is a younger period for him, his personality has not changed much from the game. However, because the scenes in the game story where he talks were cut considerably, this time he talks. He is young in age, but without much awareness you can catch a glimpse of the cruel part of Dan’s nature, I think.

Curtis Blackburn

Curtis was the end goal, so I didn’t think so much about his depiction. The way it comes together in the end, that’s what’s fun about the final parts. There’s a true meaning to his meeting with Birkin, and that will be the key point of the final part, so please enjoy it.

Christopher Mills

He’s really young this time, isn’t he about 12 years old or something. Even though he’s a young boy, he has certain standards to his work, and he also has control over the creation of relationships between others. I wanted to write about the height of his level as an informant, when he was 12, 13 years old. I’m not sure if he seems like a 12-year-old in the final result though… I thought it would be nice to see the Seattle underworld transparently, but I don’t know if the readers got that sense. What do you think?

Claudia Decker

Regarding Claudia, I wanted to write about a romance for Birkin. It’s just that…it ended too soon. (laughs) Birkin spoke abusively, didn’t stop talking about only work, it’s yet another romance story where I try to write a something like a part that’s about grounded human nature. It’s the best love story I could do, although it’s a super short story. (laughs)

Other Characters

Though this concerns the novel as a whole, the dark side of this era stinks of dust stinks of mold, and is very damp; I wanted to portray something like the atmosphere of those who live in the lower rungs of society. During the game, I could not express that kind of sensation. In that sense; Mario and Pedro’s existence feel like a certain lived-in place…I think the dark side was shown. Actually, I would say they’re upper class in comparison with Birkin, I thought they would be able to sustain the smell of mold well. This seems to be the story of men who can’t walk on the main street, huh. Actually, I thought Birkin would appear in the game story. He appeared in the scenario at first but I’m glad I feel I was able to write Birkin properly in this way. The next time it’s the finale of killer7 in a sense, really the ending, it will be really emotional. I don’t want to write it yet. But Pm not going to do it like a long countdown to Tatsumi Fujinami*’s retirement (laughs)
[*Professional wrestler known for his long tenure in New Japan Pro-Wrestling]

Summary & Analysis:


July 1st, 11:45 AM
Shigeki Birkin’s Apartment

Our protagonist is Shigeki Birkin, a professional killer nicknamed “Batman” due to his weapon of choice. The story begins with him receiving a letter and getting so upset at the postman’s attitude that he decides to kill him on the spot.
The letter turns out to have been sent by Curtis Blackburn, declaring that Birkin has been marked for death and only has seven days to live. Curtis is already known in the Seattle underground as a fearless assassin who never misses his mark.

Just as Birkin is considering his course of action and which Paradise to escape to, positing Greenland as an option, Dan Smith bursts into his apartment and shoots, and Birkin passes out.

July 1st, 2:32 PM
Parking Lot of the Diner ‘Knoxville’

Birkin has a meeting with 12-years-old informant Christopher Mills. While Birkin would like nothing more than to kill the kid, especially as he was five hours late (which might be Birkin over-exaggerating, considering he was in his apartment less than three hours before), he acknowledges that there’s channels that are open only to him, and that killing him would be a bad idea.

Their meeting spot, the Parking lot of the diner “Knoxville”, is probably a reference to Johnny Knoxville from Jackass, whom Suda is a fan of to the point of using him as an inspiration for the character of Travis Touchdown later in his career.
Source (Archive link)

Mills’ unrealistic reach compared to his young age seem to indicate that he was already under the employment of the United States Government. There is actually some real life precedent for the USA infiltrating underage operatives in the criminal underworld; Most notably, the case of White Boy Rick:
Source (Archive Link)

Through their conversation, it is revealed that Mills previously provided Birkin with illegal, untested drugs, that Birkin would take in exchange for a fee to act as a test subject. In his narration, he comments on how the previous drug actually gave him severe pain in his joints and lymphonodes, a pain that he could not possibly conceive, and ended up in the hospital, where he smashed the doctor’s brains in.

In Japan, compensating people to act as test subjects for experimental drugs is actually legal.
Source (Archive Link)

This practice has also been parodied in the videogame Yakuza 0.

With Killer is Dead being set in the USA, namely in Seattle, these tests could not happen under color of law, which is why criminal syndicates are involved.

In the real world, western governments involved in unethical medical experimentation usually rely on plausible deniability and emergency use authorizations in order to turn foreign or local populations into unwitting or unwilling guinea pigs; some known examples include the Tuskegee & Guatemalan Syphilis experiments and the AIDS crisis.
Source 1 (Archive link)
Source 2 (Archive link)
Source 3 (Archive link)

Through their conversation, Birkin reveals to Mills that he has been marked for death by Blackburn, and asks him to keep an eye on him. Mills refers to Blackburn as a “true friend” (implying that they are associates) and that he might be able to save his life.

As Mills drives away, Dan Smith once again appears before Birkin, declaring that he’s the only one who can kill Blackburn and send Birkin to Paradise.


July 2nd, 11:00AM
Shigeki Birkin’s Apartment

Birkin reflects in his appartment on the origin of his nickname, the Bat Man, and on how disappointing his targets have been in the past years, although he is disturbed by the memory of the man he killed the previous night.

July 2nd, 2:30 AM
Construction site of Horizon Tower.

The Horizon Tower was actually a location meant to appear in Killer7, but was scrapped sometime during the beta stage of development. It would have acted as Curtis Blackburns’ base of operations.
Source (Archive link)

This paragraph is Birkin’s memory of last night’s event. A man named Samayoru is sitting next to a pile of hundreds of asian-looking corpses. Birkin’s job is to kill Samayoru, but first, Samayoru (who also appears to be his client. That is to say, he seems to be the one who requested his own death.) instructs him to take care of said corpses, smash their faces.

Birkin complies with the order, but when questioning Samayoru on the purpose of beating up a bunch of corpses, the man refuses to answer. Birkin theorizes that Samayoru might want to make the corpses unrecognizeable, but Samayoru denies that motive. After a short conversation about Birkin’s life choices as a bat-carrying assassin, he complies with the contract and kills his target.

July 2nd, 11:30 AM
Shigeki Birkin’s Apartment

The narration picks up from the end of the first paragraph. We are back in Birkin’s apartment and it is revealed that he contracted Dan Smith to kill off Curtis Blackburn in order to save his own life, or in the worst case scenario, at least enact revenge.
Dan and Birkin begin preparations on Blackburn’s hit.

July 2nd, 3:11 PM
Construction site of a new building

In order to scrunge together some cash, Birkin takes on a contract from a different informant called “Rare” Ray Zack (The name might be a wrestling reference, though I am not sure). As opposed to Mills, who won’t lift a finger unless huge payouts are involved, “Rare” would also provide lower-level contracts.
Ray contracts Birkin to kill a certain man, sitting alone in an unfinished room of a construction site. However, Birkin realizes his target is Samayoru again, the same man he killed the previous night, welcoming him to Paradise in a line reminiscent of Chapter 17 of Flower, Sun and Rain.


July 3rd, 7:05 PM
Shigeki Birkin’s Apartment

Birkin monologues about his situation, and on his impotence in facing up to either Curtis Blackburn or Dan Smith.
Mills is in the apartment with Birkin, and he warns him that Antwerp, the company that provided the experimental drugs, is also after him. Everyone else who acted as a test subject has been killed except for him.
Their conversation is interrupted by an incoming car, coming to kill Mills.

Considering Birkin and Mills escaping the assassins is mentioned in the following paragraph, I can only imagine that the “PM” in the header is actually a typo, with the scene actually taking place at 7:05 AM. As such I took the liberty of correcting it in the above translation.

July 3, 1:30 PM
Hotel Don’t Move

Having escaped the Antwerp hitmen, Mills accompanies Birkin to the Hotel “Don’t Move” and silently leaves him. After a chat with the receptionist, reminiscent of Garcian’s chat with Edo Macallister in the Smile chapter, Birkin is told that a meeting with Blackburn was arranged for him on the top floor, and realizes the entire place is probably owned by him.

“The top floor, please use the elevator in the back!”

While terrified, Birkin decides to go through with the meeting, as it is apparently essential for the plan him and Dan have concocted to ultimately kill Blackburn.
Once he steps into the top floor room, Birkin is instead faced by Samayoru, who once again demands to be killed by him. Birkin informs him that as many times as he kills him, he just won’t be able to “erase” him, making the whole excercise pointless. He does, however, comply with the order.

July 3rd, 6:12 PM
Hotel Don’t Move

Birkin monologues about two of his contractors, Phillip and Roswell, who have taken advantage of him in the past by cutting or delaying his pay. They work for the local mafia boss Mario Castiglione, whose relationship with Curtis Blackburn’s syndicate is growing more and more tense by the day. That is to say that eventually, one will have to kill the other in order to take control of the Seattle underworld.
His narration is interrupted by the Receptionist, informing him that a guest has arrived to meet him.
Birkin is met by Pedro Montana, Curtis Blackburn’s full time lawyer, bringing a stack of documents in order to confirm Shigeki Birkin’s identity beyond any reasonable doubt to prepare for his upcoming killing.
Birkin easily overpowers Montana’s bodyguards and takes him hostage, resolving to contact Dan Smith.


July 4th, 10:18 AM
Hotel Don’t Move

Birkin uses Mills to broker a deal; In exchange for Montana’s safety, Birkin and Dan will act as the middlemen in the negotiations between Castiglione and Blackburn. Their ultimate objective being to set up a trap to kill both men. The details are discussed over dinner at the hotel.

July 4th, 12:00 PM
Castiglione’s Mansion

Dan and Birkin are driving to Castiglione’s mansion. During their drive, they provoke each other with puns which eventually results in Dan shooting off Birkin’s pinky finger. Interestingly enough, Dan already refers to himself as a member of the Killer7, implying that the Smith Syndicate was already referred to as such before the Union Hotel massacre.
They also refer to their ability to kill as “Criminal Power”, a term that is never used in Killer7 proper but is a core tenant of The Silver Case & The 25th Ward.

July 4th, 2:48 PM
Castiglione’s Mansion

Dan and Birkin face off against the Castiglione henchmen. Dan manages to drop hundreds of them, and Birkin notices how Dan’s ability to dodge bullets puts him in a completely different league as a killing machine than himself.
After all the henchmen are taken care of, Dan and Birkin finally meet Castiglione. Birkin tries to convince Dan to spare Castiglione so that the meeting can take place, but Dan seems reluctant to comply.

Birkin tries to convince Castiglione that their show of force was meant to impress Castiglione into hiring them to take down Blackburn so that he can remain top dog in the Seattle underworld. Castiglione, however, is not convinced by their argument and surmises that they are not to be trusted. By blowing a whistle, Castiglione summons a full blown army of henchmen who quickly surround them. Outside of Phillips and Roswell, Birkin recognizes all the other soldiers as Samayoru.
Dan confirms that the men do, indeed, all look identical.

This is where Dan explains that the Samayorus Birkin has been encountering are prototypical versions of what would ultimately be the “Heaven Smile”. It should be noted that the Heaven Smiles were portrayed as fully human in earlier versions of the game:

You can also see human-looking Heaven Smiles in the Sunset animated intro:

Phillips and Roswell try to get Birkin to their side, which is when we are given a second revelation: Birkin himself is also turning into Samayoru, which he confirms by looking into a mirror. The experimental drug that he took being responsible for his transformation.

This is where a lot of the puzzle pieces come together; we can easily infer that the mountain of corpses next to the first Samayoru was also a batch of Heaven Smiles. It’s also a further hint that Mills, at his young age, could already be a Government employee. We are told in Hand in Killer7, namely in the Jaco Reports, that the world order establishing that the Heaven Smiles would be the source of terrorism with the Killer7 being the only ones able to stop them had been decided in government talks:

In the decision of the meeting, twenty-eight years ago, Japan’s destruction was
mentioned. So were the Heaven Smiles. And, of course, Killer7 . . . .
Why are the Killer7 able to kill the Heaven Smiles? Because it was decided, in
the beginning, all that time ago. The balance of power in the concessions,
twenty-eight years ago, determined it.

Report #23

The date mentioned in the report, 28 years ago, refers to 1982. Although no date is ever mentioned in the story itself, through Mills’ age we can infer it takes place in 1973. (Mills is forty-nine years old in 2010, as stated in Hand in Killer7. Him being twelve in this short story, places it 37 years before 2010.)

Looking at the Hand in Killer7 timeline further confirms this:

[ 1973 ]
Harman Smith lost his chess game against Kun Lan.

As part of his loss, Harman promised to give Kun Lan control over the major cities of the west coast of the United States of America. Harman began the process by sending DAN SMITH to Curtis Blackburn in Seattle, to destroy the small gangs there and establish Blackburn’s control.

CHRISTOPHER MILLS, as a young boy, became Blackburn’s informant and entered the world of underground society.


So it is possible that the Heaven Smile virus/drug was initially being developed independently (the story suggests its origin point being Germany, but also implies it might be a fake lead) before being formally adopted as a tool of control. The timeline also outright states that Mills is Blackburn’s informant, explaining his earlier line about Curtis being a “true friend”.


July 5th, 4:44 AM
Shigeki Birkin’s Apartment

In Japanese, the number 4 is indicative of “death”. Therefore, the specific time indicated here is a numerical pun indicating that “it’s time to die”.

Birkin has a conversation with himself as Samayoru in the mirror. Samayoru reveals that he makes himself known to all of the “neighbors” (people who have been infected with Heaven Smile) as a sort of companion to take away the fear of death. Birkin interprets his own tears when looking as Samayoru as him being “ready to go”. The typical Heaven Smile laughter is revealed as a side-effect of the tumors that the virus grows inside the host’s body (thus explaining Birkin’s previous comment about his lymphonodes).
Birkin also reflects on the economic mechanisms that keep him tied to Seattle despite always intending to leave.

Samayoru refuses to elaborate on Blackburn’s motive in targeting Birkin, but after a torture session (which I can only surmised happened within Birkin’s mind or the spiritual plane) he at least reveals his identity as a prototype “smiling face”. A “smiling face” being a person who has been drained of all information. In other words, a person turned into an empty husk, with the only purpose to act as a weapon. Samayoru claims that is going to be Birkin’s ultimate fate, and Birkin passes out.

July 5th, 8:06 PM
‘Rolling Thunder’ Nightclub

Dan Smith presents Castiglione’s head to Blackburn in exchange for a high ranking position in his syndicate. Blackburn and Dan exchange some threats. Birkin is present at the scene, possibly to try and negotiate his survival.
This sheds some light on Dan Smith’s motives; by looking at the Hand in Killer7 timeline i quoted before, we know that Dan’s ultimate objective was always to infiltrate the Blackburn syndicate and take out its competition, under orders from Harman.


July 6th, 0:18 PM
At Shigeki Birkin’s Apartment

Birkin muses on his remaining options during his last day on earth. After careful consideration and some spicy details about Pedro’s marriage, he elects to try and ask Mills for one last favour.

July 6th, 2:52 PM
At Seattle Tower.

With his death incoming, Birkin decides to chase love one last time. He narrates on how he had been visiting the same librarian in hopes of connecting to her. On his final day, he manages to strike a conversation with her and the two run out of the building together. Birkin ponders on wether the face she sees is his own, or Samayoru’s. After confessing his feelings for her, Claudia comments on how Birkin’s smiling face is scaring her, after which he is overcome with the urge to kill and smashes her head in with his bat.

July 6th, 10:30 PM
At Ristorante Dioxin.

Birkin meets with Mills at a high class restaurant. Mills presents Birkin with three pills: One of them will numb his senses so that he’ll be able to kill himself painlessly, one will kill him outright, and the other will accelerate the progression of Heaven Smile, turning Birkin into a human bomb. Birkin, recognizing this as a bluff, takes all three pills at once with no effect. He then prompts Mills to call Blackburn, after which Mills reveals that Blackburn has been waiting for his call, and that he is merely acting as a messenger.

How could the story have ended?

This is obviously speculation on my part. The story has never been properly completed, leaving a bunch of questions unanswered.

For once, why did Blackburn mark Birkin for death? The only conclusion I can come to is that Castiglione was backed by Antwerp, and taking out “Smiling Faces” was Blackburn’s way of undermining Castiglione’s influence. As we know from Killer7, Blackburn himself eventually takes over organ trafficking routes that are used as raw materials to construct more Heaven Smiles. That is to say, he took over Castiglione’s market of manufacturing terrorism.

It is obvious that Dan Smith was just using Birkin to get a meeting with Castiglione, so that he could use the killing of Castiglione as a gateway into the Seattle Self Defence Force. Which initially led me to theorize the letter itself might be a fake, used by Dan Smith to set up the whole situation. That wouldn’t match up with Pedro Montana, Curtis Blackburn’s lawyer, going to such lenghts to confirm Birkin’s identity however. Blackburn definetly had a motive, but what that motive was, we’ll never really know.

Would Birkin have survived? Could he have made his way to Paradise? I personally don’t like his chances, considering that both Antwerp & the Blackburn syndicate wanted him dead, while he was being consumed by Heaven Smile.
I suspect that Dan Smith would have been the one to kill him. He did set that up by saying that he was the one to bring Birkin to Paradise, and also, we know that Dan eventually does join the ranks of the Seattle SDF until he is shot in the basketball court in 1975. The Killer7, as we established, are also the only ones “allowed” to execute Heaven Smiles.
That being said, I cannot discount a twist ending in which Birkin somehow survived. I just find it very unlikely.

Connection to Killer7:

While reading the story doesen’t add much to the context of Killer7 proper, it gives us a glimpse of the fact that the world order that is portrayed in the game was already being built as far back as the 70s. Seemingly unrelated events do line up in a cohesive narrative when looked at from the lens of history.

For once, according to HiK7 the current world order was only decided upon in 1982, and according to the game itself the world was only exposed to the “Smiling Faces” terrorism in 2003. KiD shows us how the development of Heaven Smile was already underway in the 1970s, to the point of having reached a testing phase, predating all the societal changes we see in the game by at least 25 years. It is also interesting to note how the “religious” aspect of Heaven Smile is completely absent at this point, indicating how their denotation as holy warriors only exists as a convenient label to support a specific world order. In the end, a Heaven Smile is nothing more than a human weapon, to be used at one’s convenience.

In Killer7, Andrey Ulmeyda imbibes the Heaven Smile virus in hopes of naturally developing antibodies, but he is consumed by it:

Which is probably a similar condition as what Birkin endured.

Connection to Travis Strikes Again:

Shigeki Birkin eventually made his on-screen debut in the 2019 game Travis Strikes Again. The game’s alternative attract mode, which was only released after a week, makes direct reference to the events of Killer is Dead. Positing that Birkin eventually managed to escape from Blackburn’s death sentence, by selling out Dan Smith to him.

The game also included a short Visual Novel campaign, detailing Birkin’s backstory and how he came to become an assassin under the employment of the Castiglione mafia. (The organization is mentioned as operating in the pacific north-west, where Seattle is located, in a surprising piece of consistency.)

Keep in mind none of these events actually have to line up with the game Killer7, as it takes place in an alternate history setting different from that of the other games. That is to say that the Dan Smith, Christopher Mills & Curtis Blackburn who appear or are otherwise mentioned in TSA, effectively have nothing to do with the same characters from Killer7.

However, even when only taking Killer is Dead into account, you have to ignore certain details for the storylines to line up.

First of all, in the context of Killer7, the short story was implied to have taken place some time during 1973. In the context of TSA, the end of the Castiglione mafia has to happen sometime between 2007 (the date of Badgirl’s death) and 2017 (when TSA takes place). Luckily, no dates are ever mentioned in the short story itself, making this retcon quite painless.
When Birkin mentions that Travis has been off the radar for “seven years”, he’s actually referring to the passage of time between No More Heroes 2 (2010) and TSA (2017), during which Travis was in hiding. It is unknown why Birkin did not take a shot at him while Travis was still residing in Santa Destroy; he might have had no way of making a move without alerting Dan Smith.

Through the course of TSA, Birkin is referred to as “Badman” rather than “Batman”, although that is also easily reconcilable. Unless I am mistaken he is never referred to as “Badman” in the prequel VN, and he might have changed his name to honor his dead daughter once his path to revenge was set. It should be noted that he actually does refer to himself as a “Badman” in KiD.

Obviously, KiD made absolutely no reference to Birkin having a daughter, which is harder to ignore. In fact, Birkin mentions being 29 within KiD, which is just nonsensical when applied to the context of TSA where he lost a 23-years-old daughter. The Heaven Smile drugs are also never mentioned within the context of TSA, along with the loss of his pinky finger. Moreover, Birkin’s backstory in TSA makes it clear that his head is held together by his signature mask, due to the various head traumas he suffered. While KiD does not elaborate on his physical appearance, several scenes would require him to be maskless.

All this to say that, while certain details do line up (for example, Birkin is shown driving the same Trans Am in TSA), Birkin’s backstory has been altered in order to fit the context of the No More Heroes series, meaning the short story in question can’t be considered fully “canonical” in the context of the game.

Shigeki Birkin eventually met his end in No More Heroes 3 at the hands of a blue space alien which is a real plot point in a real game.