Paradise Hotel 51

Where Gaming Dies


Breaking news! The bombing of the Hawaiian refugee center perpetrated by Heaven Smiles earlier this morning seems to have sparked a new wave of goblinophobia within the general population and the police force alike.
While the specist hashtags #GoblinsGottaGo and #GoblinsGate kept trending on Twitter in support of the Human Nationalist proposal of banning Goblins, Barrels, and Gems from public buildings, police officer Evil Badguy shot an unarmed Goblin citizen Uur’lok Pozzik (aspiring rap genius, STEM aficionado, activist and astronaut) for seemingly no reason during a peaceful protest inside Jerry’s apartment.
Police Chief Naught White described this development as “disturbing” and immediately ordered Badguy’s execution by firing squad.
The explosion killed 9,001 Ugandan children and wounded five.

19/11/2022 – Flower, Sun, and Rain, short story translated for Water – For relaxing time, several translations added to F.S.R. Official Fanbook
12/11/2022 – The Silver Case Merchandise has been updated
10/11/2022 – Website updated, Suda51 Official Complete Book [UPDATED], new 51’s COMMENT on Blood+ One Night Kiss
02/11/2022 – The Silver Case, Suda51 Official Complete Book [UPDATED], new 51’s COMMENT on Contact and Blood+ One Night Kiss
01/11/2022 – Suda51 Official Complete Book [UPDATED], new 51’s COMMENT on Contact and Samurai Champloo: Sidetracked
29/10/2022 – Suda51 Official Complete Book [UPDATED], new 51’s COMMENT on Michigan
27/10/2022 – Suda51 Official Complete Book [UPDATED], new 51’s COMMENT on Fire Pro Wrestling and Flower, Sun, and Rain
26/10/2022 – Kill the Past – Moonlight Syndrome
26/10/2022 – Suda51 Official Complete Book [UPDATED], new 51’s COMMENT on Fire Pro Wrestling
25/10/2022 – The angels of Hinashiro
24/10/2022 – Suda51 Official Complete Book [UPDATED]
19/10/2022 – Moonlight Syndrome: Complete Data File [UPDATED], Moonlight Syndrome: Playstation Winning Method Special [UPDATED], Moonlight Syndrome: In-depth Guide [UPDATED], Moonlight Syndrome: Deep Psyche File [UPDATED]
18/10/2022 – Twilight Syndrome: 3D Drama Special [UPDATED], Twilight Syndrome: Official Guidebook [UPDATED], Twilight Syndrome: Truth Files [UPDATED], Moonlight Syndrome: Truth Files [UPDATED]
15/10/2022 – HIDECHAN! Radio – Suda51 appearances
09/10/2022 – Moonlight Syndrome PROLOGUE translation updated
02/09/2022 – The Moonlit Road – Moonlight Syndrome
31/08/2022 – Moonlight Syndrome 陰約 INYAKU Analysis
30/08/2022 – Moonlight Syndrome エピローグ EPILOGUE Analysis
29/08/2022 – Moonlight Syndrome 慟悪 DOWAKU Analysis
28/08/2022 – Moonlight Syndrome 開扉 KAIBYO Analysis, a lot of the merchandise and bonus footage pages are getting updated, there’s too many to list so please consult the Babylonian Talmud for details
24/08/2022 – Flower, Sun, and Rain Famitsu Interview [TRANSLATION] [UPDATED], GPara website [TRANSLATION] [UPDATED]
23/08/2022 – Moonlight Syndrome 電破 DENPOW Analysis, PLAYSYLVIA
22/08/2022 – Moonlight Syndrome 浮誘 FUYOU Analysis
21/08/2022 – Moonlight Syndrome 片倫 HENLIN Analysis, Moonlight Syndrome Disc Swapping CGs
20/08/2022 – Our History, Moonlight Syndrome 変嫉 HENSHITSU Analysis
19/08/2022 – Magazine scans have been organized in their own pages: Moonlight Syndrome, The Silver Case, Flower, Sun, and Rain, killer7, No More Heroes.
14/08/2022 – Kikuko Inoue’s Twilight Syndrome radio broadcast
11/08/2022 – Moonlight Syndrome [UPDATED]
09/08/2022 – The Silver Case / 探偵 神宮寺三郎 Innocent Black crossover
08/08/2022 – Moonlight Syndrome Chapter 10 translation
06/08/2022 – Made in Paradise, Moonlight Syndrome 奏遇 SOWGUW Analysis
05/08/2022 – Moonlight Syndrome Chapter 9 translation
02/08/2022 – Susie’s Site Map
31/07/2022 – Added several soundtrack art scans, thanks to Rosen Kreutz for ripping them from VGMDB
30/07/2022 – Added Makkana Onnanoko and Liberation Maiden SIN to Other Suda; Added several Famitsu articles and promotional materials to TSC Bonus Footage, FSR Bonus Footage, 25W Bonus Footage
27/07/2022 – Other GHM [UPDATED], Other Suda
19/07/2022 – Moonlight Syndrome Chapter 8 translation
09/07/2022 – Moonlight Syndrome 夢題 MOWDEI Analysis
07/07/2022 – Moonlight Syndrome プロローグ PROLOGUE Analysis
02/07/2022 – One Night Kiss Chapter 3 translation
01/06/2022 – Moonlight Syndrome Chapter 7 translation
05/05/2022 – PH51 comes out of BETA stage

Onto other events, notorious terrorist and game developer Hideous Kojima is now a suspect for the shooting of Prime Minister Shinzo Abe. The known communist sympathizer was already a subject of investigation on the part of local authorities due to the suspicious death of Yu-Gi-Oh author Kazuki Takahashi.

Hideous was supposedly spotted wearing only a snorkel and a thong near the scene of Takahashi’s death. When questioned about his presence and attire, he responded by muttering “Those Konami bastards are going to pay, every last one of them.”
When asked about Takahashi, whose corpse lay not two meters away from where the interrogation was taking place, he feigned ignorance. “I never heard of him. I was dissatisfied with his work.”

Hideous Kojima pictured above delivering Hunter Biden’s gaming laptop
Schematics for the murder weapon as datamined from the game “Death Stranding”

Takahashi’s death has since been ruled an accident, but with new evidence coming to light that Hideous may have, in fact, been wielding the home made gun that shot Prime Minister Abe the very next day, a shadow of doubt has enveloped the whole story.

Expert witnesses have theorized that a 2ch argument between Kojima and Abe might have sparked the incident. Abe reportedly described Metal Gear Solid as a “politically illiterate”, “boring” series. He then complimented the business acumen of Konami for getting rid of its creator. Kojima typed out several pages worth of rebukes, to which Abe replied “wwwwwww”. The following day, after meeting with POTUS Donald J. Trump, Abe was shot dead in broad daylight by a man wearing a Sneaking Suit.

Prime Minister Abe with current US President Donald J. Trump

Divorced conspiracy theorist and national socialist Alex Jones posited that the shooting of the Prime Minister might have been precipitated by his endorsement of Nintendo as “the platform of choice for all able bodied men and women willing to serve the country.” (It should be noted that Hideous Productions is owned by Sony, Nintendo’s direct competitor.)

Known undesirable and concurrent owner of the Paradise Hotel chain, Danny D. Dataly, has also expressed concern over the situation, theorizing instead that Hideous may have funded or otherwise facilitated the heinous bombing of the Gaming Guidestones, formerly referred to as the “Georgia Guidestones”.

Prime Minister Abe during a kabbalistic ritual
The Gaming Guidestones communing telepathically during a Hololive concert

“It’s a big coincidence, isn’t it? He “just so happens” to host a GameJam with the Barrel Liberation Front… and the Gaming Guidestones are blown up the same night?”

It should be noted that Barrel Liberation Front COO, arrested on suspicion of tax evasion, was quoted saying “There’s nothing wrong with collecting letters to spell a word. What’s wrong with you?”

Mr. Dataly, in a drunken stupor, then continued. “I’m not calling you a mongoloid. I’m saying that you’re a mongoloid IF you buy it. The military industrial complex and the NWO precipitated the killing of Abe. Who lost his military contracts during his stay at Konami? That’s right, Hideous Kojima! JUST OPEN YOUR EYES, GOD DAMN IT!”

As his private security force informed us that the interview was over, I could not help but wonder. While one struggles taking these individuals seriously due to their unrelenting support of Adolf Hitler, the threat of Kojima is indeed a serious one. Can Hideous’ murderous rampage be stopped? Should it be stopped? Is he a senseless killer or just the herald of a new, incoming age?

Live from the studio, this was Karen Hojo, hosting Ishizaka TV Faking News.