Paradise Hotel 51

Where Gaming Dies

Well hello, Mr. Smith! (´-`)ノ
I was not expecting to see you again. It’s your first time here, isn’t it? I can tell from your eyes, you’re gonna need me to walk you through this. Wasting my time with retards like you is my job after all. (¯△¯)

If you need to wash off the blood from your troublesome journey, you might want to visit our rooftop pool. I have many cherished memories of that pool. I begged my mother for an ice cream, tugging at her skirt, but she only had eyes for that Puerto Rican shithead. The fucking bitch. (¯3¯)

Where was I? Oh yeah, the pool. That’s where they both
drowned. My mom, and that Costa Rican pedo. Or was he Croatian? Anyway, remember the Susie Safety Tips! If you slip and fall into the pool, and someone holds your head down for twenty minutes, you might just die, so stay safe! (;-;)7

If you’re looking for female companionship of the WHORE variety, you might want to visit our franchised back alley. That’s where those vixens hang out. Not that I’d know, or care. Always looking down on me since we were kids. I know you’re lusting after their young calves, and wrists. You men are all the same! (`へ´#) 

Once you’re ready for some excitement, you can visit our Wrestling Ring, or our Shooting Range. Be forewarned though. I know how you rich folk like to do things, and we do not condone shooting live targets. Although, is a bag of meat really alive, if it can’t think? I’ll leave that to your imagination.  (* ͡ ▽ ͡ *)

Of course, if you’re not sure what you’re looking for, you could always come to my room… I’ll let you in on a little secret, that’s the place where all the big shots like to come, when they want to get a-head! (*O*)/ They like it so much, they don’t ever get out. So just keep your pants on and I won’t stuff your XXXX up your XXXXing XXXXXXX like I did with young Jeremy. We’ll get along great. Go die in a ditch.  ヽ( ‘▽ ‘)ノ