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Jack
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Sonic the Hedgehog

Post by Jack »

The movie actually seems pretty good. Cameo by Tails. There's also a Knuckles tribe. (No not Ugandan Knuckles :lol: )

I wasn't expecting Robotnik, to look & act exactly like Sonic Racing All Stars Transformed Robotik.
This movie seems funny as fuck.


About the only thing I don't like from what I've seen is the music. The ost sounds like generic Hollywood music.
I can understand not going with the original Sonic style, coz that's way too 90s, New Jack Swing. Similar to how you never hear about Boyz II Men anymore.

I would've preferred songs that actually sounded like Sonic though.
When I think Sonic, I think of smooth grooves where you gotta go Fast!


A Sonic the Hedghog live action movie sounds like the dumbest idea I've ever heard but they actually made it work. If it were still the 80s then Golden Axe, Shinobi & Streets of Rage would be definite locks for a Sega Cinematic Universe lol. Bayonetta is really the only one that would likely get a movie. Yakuza already has movies that are so accurate to the games that they even have blue flames glowing off of them when they fight.


Apparently Sonic is homophobic & raycciist. :roll:
https://www.vg247.com/2020/02/11/dumb-f ... ter-fight/

Kinda makes me want to see another attempt at a Super Mario movie, but make it like a reverse-roger rabbit.
Where Mario & Luigi are cartoon humans, but Princess Peach is a real life sexy woman with big tits & ass to go along with her name. I know, impossible. The movie would be considered too sexist coz even Jim Carey got cancelled on Twitter just for flirtting with a female interviewer discussing his role on Robotnik.


BTW I had no idea that Jim Carey was a Boomer. (1962)

He looks so much like Gen X. He speaks like a Boomer though, goes on about some weird fantasy crap where all you have to do is work hard to succeed at life. :twisted: :lol:
During the Boomer era, you could actually raise a family of 4 in a medium wage house while on a measly shoe salesman salary. It's a completely different world now.
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Re: Sonic the Hedgehog

Post by CENSORED »

I've seen it today, the movie is honestly trash but Jim Carrey is very funny and corny as the villain and carries the whole thing, it is the kind of trash I can consume after a wine binge and be entertained rather than modern era trash that is just miserable to watch
I should probably rephrase that and say that if this movie came out 15 years ago, it would be trash. Since it came out today, it's all right and watchable.
Apparently Sonic is homophobic & raycciist
Those are literal bots spouting off random words

There's also one claiming that Sonic is SJW lol!
You can see some of the sentences don't even make sense and are repeated by supposedly different accounts
WB probably just bought some viral advertisement and didn't really understand how the fuck that worked, loads of people working bots or astroturfing accounts are indian people with a vague hold on the english language

The echidna tribe is only shown at the start along with random ass Owl Mother that nurtured Sonic, after that he starts dimension hopping and eventually gets to Earth
Tails only shows up in a post-credit scene
Most of the movie is actually spent with the boring ass cop, who is the one who actually develops a rivarly with eggman for some reason, for all intents and purposes he is the actual main character of the movie and Sonic is treated more as a schizoid mascot/sidekick
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Re: Sonic the Hedgehog

Post by Rake »

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Everything surrounding the Sonic movie is amazing.
This is according to IndieWire, which spoke with a source close to the film’s production, who pegged the redesign as hitting Paramount’s checkbook for a little less than $5 million. That is by no means cheap, representing about 5.5% of the film’s estimated $90 million budget. Yet, while the film already had a sizable budget and has been delayed to accommodate the redesign, $5 million isn’t nearly as bad as it could have been.
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Really though, this is unprecedented in film. For the public to be SO outraged over something this retarded the studios actually dropped multi-million dollars for a patch and released an apology. Of course the redesign was worth it for their $100 million+ opening. Anyone who said it would flop was a moron, there are legions of ESL immigrants that would flock to see this, let alone the autismbux being pumped straight from Uncle Sam back into Hollyweird.
Apparently Sonic is homophobic & raycciist. :roll:
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Those are literal bots spouting off random words
It's not just bots, some journalist shitlibs are pretending to be mad on account of it beating Birds of Prey at the box office. Assuming they're not all just being paid off, I don't really get why anyone would care. It'd be like complaining Angry Birds outsold any other game, of course it fucking did.

Little do these morons know SEGA is run by geniuses who future-proofed Sonic from the Wokening:

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Kinda makes me want to see another attempt at a Super Mario movie, but make it like a reverse-roger rabbit.
Where Mario & Luigi are cartoon humans, but Princess Peach is a real life sexy woman with big tits & ass to go along with her name. I know, impossible.
Super Mario Bros. gets such a bad wrap, I don't understand why anyone thinks it's bad. It's fucking hilarious. The movie everyone wants would be a Pixar movie injected with a bunch of inane pathos that wouldn't fit in because Mario isn't about characters it's about the fun of running around in a big open environment. The '93 attempt did a fine job taking all the retarded symbology from Mario and throwing it into a ridiculous Hollywood special effects blender to make something that's fun to watch rather than play.



What you're describing would be more like reverse Cool World:



With cartoon Mario & Luigi trying to fuck a real Peach rather than real Brad Pitt trying to fuck cartoon Kim Basinger.
Most of the movie is actually spent with the boring ass cop, who is the one who actually develops a rivarly with eggman for some reason, for all intents and purposes he is the actual main character of the movie and Sonic is treated more as a schizoid mascot/sidekick
It's the Transformers format (though I think Masters of the Universe from '87 might be the real originator), where the majority of the flick is built around the "bridge" characters who act to soften the blow of the audience watching a movie about cartoon characters.

The Sonic OVA worked fine as a "Sonic movie" where the focus actually is Sonic, but that only works in animation because Sonic's a fucking cartoon.
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Re: Sonic the Hedgehog

Post by Jack »

I can believe that Sanic is shiiat, but all I care about is seeing Sega make bank. Hopefully they one day return to consoles and make a direct competitor with Nintendo. Nintendo & Sega should just ignore the fuck out of Soyny & Microshit from now on. They're the top 4 richest gaming companies. Nintendo has shown that they can survive on their own by creating their own economic cycle which exists outside of Soyny's & Microshit's mutimedia masheen that does everything but play vidya gaems.
Little do these morons know SEGA is run by geniuses who future-proofed Sonic from the Wokening:
LOL what game is that from? (I only played Sonic 1 - through CD and the first two Racing games.)
That is the exact Robotnik they used though coz Jim Carey even refrerences that he's playing a guy with a 300 iq. Jim Carey is a Far Leftist but even he makes jokes about how we can't make jokes referencing our balls anymore coz you could go to jail for that in Murka.

I heard that even Knuckles is a feminist, but it's played for laughs at his expense.
The way the term Leftist is use in the Western world is so misused. I pointed that out in that thread,
viewtopic.php?f=10&t=18&start=20
that most of the modern day era's actual Leftists are really just Asian 'strongman' style politicians like Duterte who are labeled as 'Far Right' coz Leftist is equated with Liberal in the USA, rather than a bigger government with socially conservative politics. Neither side in the USA, is all that conservative at all. That's how we have stupid shit such as 'Trannies for Trump.'
Super Mario Bros. gets such a bad wrap, I don't understand why anyone thinks it's bad. It's fucking hilarious. The movie everyone wants would be a Pixar movie injected with a bunch of inane pathos that wouldn't fit in because Mario isn't about characters it's about the fun of running around in a big open environment. The '93 attempt did a fine job taking all the retarded symbology from Mario and throwing it into a ridiculous Hollywood special effects blender to make something that's fun to watch rather than play.
I didn't say anything about Mario's quality, I implied that it flopped though which it did.
Anyway it was a Cyberpunk movie, nothing at all that resembled Mario. At best it was so bad it's good, like Street Fighter.
With cartoon Mario & Luigi trying to fuck a real Peach rather than real Brad Pitt trying to fuck cartoon Kim Basinger.
I said nothing about the plot. The plot I'd want for a Mario movie is some over-the-top action/comedy bullshit like Mario Warfare which parodies the fuck out of action films & even anime. (There's a scene that mimics the Street Fighter anime Ryu vs Fei Long fight word for word.)

That Bomb-omb segment that lampoons Leon the Professional had me bawling tears of laughter.
It's even more hilarious when you see flashbacks and you find out that he was actually close friends with Toad & shit, making the deaths all the more 'tragic'. (tragically funny.)

Mario Warfare could work with a high budget. You wouldn't need to render Mario & Luigi as cartoon characters, but where the fuck are you going to find a short fat guy who's as athletic as Mario? It just ain't Mario if I'm not seeing super mini-manlet pulling off crazy acrobatic feats that would put most Ninja to shame. I'm amazed that in the original Mario Bros movie, they actually got their heights accurate.
Luigi in the movie is only 5'8, which is his official height. He only looks tall coz Mario is fucking puny. They found the shortest guy they could find for Mario who's about 5'5, vidya gaem Mario is like 5'-5'2 though but I mean aside for AEW wrrestling, where else are you going to find a 5'2 guy? LOL!

It's paramount that they make Rosalina, Peach & Daisy real life sex pots though. I just feel that would bring a large audience (in a normal non-woke world at least since all 3 of them are White & would prob be twitter-assinated due to being pretty Yt chix.) and you could just insert risque humor that skirts the line between PG similar to what Roger Rabbit did. That shit had so many sex-related jokes that I didn't get as a kid, but wheter you were a kid or adult, the toon still came off as sexy.
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Re: Sonic the Hedgehog

Post by Jack »

:lol: :lol: :twisted: :lol:
A sequel has already been greenlit I think & there's even speculation of a possible Sega Cinematic Universe.

He even name dropped the same 3 games I did, Shinobi, Streets of Rage & Golden Axe. All 3 of those games were just copying popular American movie genres during the 80s. It really shows to you how powerful Japan used to be, if something as fuckign random as Ninjas, used to be American-mainstream.

I think Streets of Rage would make millions if you made it as a movie that's similar to the modern government agent Fast & Furios films which star ex WWE wrestlers & martial artists, but in an Urban setting which is exactly what Streets of Rage is.

The problem with directly adapting SOR from the exact games is that it would just come off like a shitty Steven Seagall flick, without Seagall who's the only reason why they're watchable coz he fucking sucks ass at everything. but for some reason has enough charisma to carry you through the movie.
Golden Axe would do well as a movie since it's basically Conan. The problem is, WOKE culture. Say good bye to Tyris's thong. Shit she may even be fat due to 'fatphobia'.
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:lol: :lol: :twisted: :twisted: :lol: :lol:

LOL at harley getting assfucked by a blue hedgeheg with an attitude, Sanic. Who'da saw that one coming, or cumming?
Seriously, it's not hard, all you had to do is make a Bonnie & Clyde type of flick with Leto's Mob boss Gangsta Joker & SS's fine-ass Harley.
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You would've got millions of asses on seats coz the males (including myself) would've saw it for the hot version of Harley from SS, and the biological females would've saw it for Joker, coz Leto's Joker was the personafication of a modern-era badboy gangster stereotype, which is what he was going for. Unfortunately, everyone prefers EMO Joker, which isn't even how Joker acts in the comics or in the cartoon. Outside of film, Joker was just the money-protection racket gangster, dressed up as a clown.
Bird's of Gay's Harley isn't even hot. DERP! No wonder it flopped.

BTW that editorial is so out of touch.
https://www.tvovermind.com/tainted-love ... ley-quinn/
Whomever wrote that just doesn't understand how marketable Joker & Harley are as a couple, to a teen audience. They're the quinttessential example of what most teen relationshits are like. Stupid sluts hooking up with stupid badboys as they both abuse each other. Damn near every kid (who isn't a fucking nerd, like that writer is.) can relate with that.
Even some thots I kept track of like Karen Uehara cosplayed as Harley coz that's how damn relatable Harley & Joker are to the world of Gangstas & Hoes.
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(She's actually one of the THOTs I was referring to who supported Trump, but was then like "Fuck him" when the shit with Iran went down. She's half Iranian with a big ol' ass. It was funny to me, coz she professed why she loves Japan after that.)
Corporate needs to stop listening to these 'Moral Arbiters' coz damn near every idea they have is anti-money. Nobody gives a shit about how 'moral' you claim to be. The most self-proclaimed 'Moralist' tend to be the most degenerate. Weird how it's atheist types who have become more moralistic than the religion-fags. I can't stand either, but at least the thelogians are a bit more consistent.
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Re: Sonic the Hedgehog

Post by CENSORED »

It's not just bots, some journalist shitlibs are pretending to be mad on account of it beating Birds of Prey at the box office. Assuming they're not all just being paid off, I don't really get why anyone would care.
Oh they might as well be bots. My point is that that talking point originated from marketing bots and shills on twitter using random words with no rhyme or reasons (I laugh every time at the guy calling sonic SJW trash, right next to the one claiming it has homophobic slurs LOL!)
"""Journalists""" just saw it had a minor trend and jumped in to write editorials that don't actually communicate anything, but serve the purpose of justifying the headline which is what they use to attract clicks and get advertisement money.
It's important to immediately produce headlines that can be shared under hashtags that are trending on twitter.
Being a """Journalist""" in the current era means you eat shit from bots and indian twitter spammers, it's such a fucking joke
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Re: Sonic the Hedgehog

Post by Rake »

Whoops, forgot to post my favorite one!

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I wanted to make a thread to mock Resetera but JFC.. https://twitter.com/ReeraTakes :shock:

It'd go on forever. Might be the most POZZED website on the face of the earth right now. :lol:
LOL what game is that from? (I only played Sonic 1 - through CD and the first two Racing games.)
Heroes manual, I think. Sonic is actually what got me into gaming, I've always been a sucker for the contrarian stuff. Adventure is probably my favorite because of how weird and broken it is. I used to follow this gay Black communist writer and he described everything I like about Adventure better than anyone else: https://medium.com/mammon-machine-zeal/ ... af91883445 - https://medium.com/mammon-machine-zeal/ ... b8e10dfb21

I wanted to make a thread at some point on esoteric readings of games, I'll get to it eventually.
He even name dropped the same 3 games I did, Shinobi, Streets of Rage & Golden Axe. All 3 of those games were just copying popular American movie genres during the 80s. It really shows to you how powerful Japan used to be, if something as fuckign random as Ninjas, used to be American-mainstream.
It's not random, "ninjas" were popular because of the general interest in "warrior" stuff (American Gladiators, Conan, even Xena). When I was a little kid every Whitey wanted to be Chuck Norris and do kung-fu and if not then they wanted to be a knight, pirate, gladiator.. or something else involving bashing peoples heads in and cutting them apart.
Seriously, it's not hard, all you had to do is make a Bonnie & Clyde type of flick with Leto's Mob boss Gangsta Joker & SS's fine-ass Harley.
Instead of pseudo-Taxi Driver with JOKER it'd be pseudo-Natural Born Killers with Joker & Harley. Would be good though.
You would've got millions of asses on seats coz the males (including myself) would've saw it for the hot version of Harley from SS, and the biological females would've saw it for Joker, coz Leto's Joker was the personafication of a modern-era badboy gangster stereotype, which is what he was going for. Unfortunately, everyone prefers EMO Joker, which isn't even how Joker acts in the comics or in the cartoon. Outside of film, Joker was just the money-protection racket gangster, dressed up as a clown.
Emo Joker was good, but you're one of the only people I've seen point out the obvious truth that it isn't Joker. Leto's Joker was a failure but he's closer to Nicholson's Joker than Joaquin's by a lot. JOKER is good, but in a depressing way I haven't seen anyone talk about, which is they made a good movie and tricked everyone into seeing it by calling it capeshit when it's not. I'll take that since capeshit domination CANNOT END but it's still tiring.

Maybe we should just make a capeshit thread to talk about this stuff, it's such a fucking powerful force of nature.
Bird's of Gay's Harley isn't even hot. DERP! No wonder it flopped.


I don't know how they managed that with Robbie as Harley.
Corporate needs to stop listening to these 'Moral Arbiters' coz damn near every idea they have is anti-money.
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Re: Sonic the Hedgehog

Post by Cat »

The film got a sequel this year which printed even more money.

My magic 8-ball says they will make a Jet Set Radio Netflix miniseries with a fujo'd up cast, sex-worker/gamer neon, ACAB grafitti etc.
Last edited by Cat on Mon Jul 25, 2022 5:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Sonic the Hedgehog

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We can only hope that if they do, it'll be ignored just as swiftly.
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Re: Sonic the Hedgehog

Post by AngelheadedHipster »

Seen the first one. It's a "wacky cartoon character ends up in the real world and hijinks ensues" movie. It's better than the average for those, but that average is "Alvin and the Chipmunks". There's Sonic, who talks a lot and makes pop culture references, and does that one meme dance at some point. There's an attractive cop and his attractive wife who serve as the human main characters. Actually, Tika Sumpter is fucking gorgeous, my god. Jim Carrey's still got his living cartoon shtick down to a science, that was fun to see. It's watchable. If your kid or nephew or younger sibling or underage sex slaves you keep in your basement drag you to see it, chances are you won't have a miserable time. Actually, chances are you won't remember it much at all.
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