PAN'S LABYRINTH (Spanish with English subtitles.)

So I found out about this movie because I heard it was Lovecraftian.

I heard it has demons, fascists & shit. What could go wrong?

While it wasn't Lovecraftish in the slightest I did enjoy the dark or shall I say grimm atmosphere of the movie.

That's not all I enjoyed. I also really liked her, HAH HAHAHA HAHHAAH

 

MARIBEL VERDU

Now obviously, Maribel Verdu wasn't this glamorously hot in the movie.

 

She had a more haggard sad appearance who looked like she'd be fucking hot had she not been living under fascism.

So what exactly is Pan's Labyrinth? It's supposedly a Fantasy movie but the main setting takes place during the beginning stages of World War II alongside the curtain stage of the Spanish Civil War. In my opinion the movie doesn't work as either a War or Fantasy but it sure as hell peaked my interest as a Psychological film.

Why, by the time the movie ended I concluded that all the fantasy elements were occurring within Ofelia's head.

 

Now sure I was ultimately proven wrong since Del Toro says otherwise and when you think about it the theme of doing what's right rather then doing what you're told does shine more when we take the fantasy elements in at face value.
Unfortunately this over simplifies the movie into a shallow script where everything you see is what you get. Which cheapens the film tremendously.

 

This is Ofelia.

This is Ofelia dead.

Any questions? Oh I'm sorry did I just spoil the movie for you? Well you pretty much see this little bitch dead at the beginning of the fucking movie you fucking idiot. That's what I loved about Pan's Labyrinth. It didn't try to insert some absurd plot twist nor did it try to be deep. Although admittedly I was hoping for Pan to transcend the legendary artistic achievement of Takeshi Kitano's Hana-Bi.

While the visuals are certainly up to par, Pan's Labyrinth just didn't seem to have any substance underneath the pretty cinematography.

 

What it did do and does extremely well is mix the cold bitter reality of everyday life which is plagued with death, famine & all that good shit with the innocent naivety of youth. Well you know what fuck that shit.

I already ruined the end for you fuckfaces so I'll might as well end this rant quick. Pan's Labyrinth is one of those movies where the experience is far better than the actual story. So it's best to come into this movie not knowing a damn thing about it like I did.

What I love about Pan, besides Maribel. (Shit she's 40 and still banging hot!)

Is that it pulls no punches. Some asstards have even dared calling this movie sadist because children and violence should never mix or some other highly moralist retarded human made conception of reality bullshit.

News flash faggots. Children die, are forced to fight in wars and even get prostituted every day. Simply because you ignore the plight of real human conflict doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. In war, it's often the innocent civilians who are the true tragedies of war. Especially pointless ones revolving around fascist supremacy.

 

While the movie lacks any actual depth I can commend it for not bullshitting with fascism. Some of the dumbest complaints I ever heard about Pan's Labyrinth is that the main badguy is supposedly cartoon evil.

When he's a fucking fascist. What the fuck do you expect? This is how fascists act in real life. Why must every movie villain be depicted as some crybaby with a tragic past? Would that make the main bad guy (I don't even remember his name because I generally don't care to remember asshole's names.)

Any less detestable? No I think not. Giving Vidal (Yes that's his name, I think.) an actual personality would humanize him too much which would in effect deter from the main narrative of the film.

 

When all that surround you is death and fascism sometimes the only escape from the chaos is to retreat to a fantasy world. However even if the magic you see is indeed real. It will still do nothing to protect you from the very real evils of our world. Which typically tend to be other humans, lol.

In that sense I guess I could kinda somewhat see a semi Lovecraft theme in Pan's Labyrinth. The theme of humans being greater monsters than the actual monsters lurking behind the shadows.

 

I'm aware that I didn't talk much about this movie but that's because there's not really much to say about Pan's Labyrinth.

Is it artistic?: Yes, unlike Scott Pilgrim I actually wouldn't mind seeing people compare Pan's Labyrinth to Fight Club.

Is it deep?: If you mean deep as in gets you thinking, probably not.

The movie sure gets emotional though if you're invested in any of the characters. I myself was rooting for Maribel and was surprised by her outcome in the film.

Is it entertaining?: I sure thought it was but then again it's because I felt like I was seeing a world that's completely different from my own.

One thing I always love about foreign movies is how the actors seem to almost always look classier than their American counterparts.

I mean for fuck's sake. I had no idea that Maribel was known for playing slutty roles where you see her completely naked even down to her sexy ass bush.

Damn, mothafuckas are right. I truly do have good taste in women, HAHAHH HAHAHh.

 

Ah yeah teh, score. Shit I don't know

[3/5]

By Topdrunkee : September 12 , 2010

Randumb Vampire guy : Topdrunkee of USA.

He's a LooNY mothafucka.

He's the creator, the architect behind the Killer 7 SINdicate.
Well, that's the official story that I've heard. We've received some conflicting reports that he's actually one of the unheard of bastard children of the legendary Segata Sanshiro.
Which would at least explain why he has such a hardcore militant attitude toward everything in life no matter how miniscule.
We've also heard that this current Topdrunkee is just a digital clone of the original Topdrunkee who has been transplanted inside a mannequin that was made in his own image.
The whereabouts of the real Topdrunkee is anyone's guess. Maybe he stuck his middle finger inside an electric socket, & died. Maybe he was standing near a stripper who got shot in the tits, and died from the explosion of her implanted breasts that imported self detonating bombs? Who knows? Who gives a fuck!