THE FACULTY

You know for some reason I just can't ever get into Quentin Tarantino's films I love QT's dialogue, and I love his passion for film but I just can't get into his films because they always seem to be trying too hard to come off as artistic.

 

His partner in crime Robert Rodriquez isn't exempt from that of course. Since he did make the artfag's dream (Pretty visuals to mask what little substance the film may have.) SIN CITY. A film that many of whom (Retards mostly AKA mainstream fuckfaces who don't know dick about shit even if you shoved it down their mouth.) consider as Robert Rodriquez's masterpiece.

 

Fucking dumb assholes I say. What about From Dusk Till Dawn? What about Desperado? Oh yeah that's right artfag's + film snobs can't stand trashy exploitation & 80's zombie/vampire film throwbacks because it supposedly doesn't give their minds thy exercise that their brains so desire.

Quite comical actually considering that SIN CITY was pretty damn juvenile once you look past the unique visuals. Even Bruce Willis' original Diehard

had much deeper commentary than RR's supposed magnum opus.

So what exactly am I getting at? I'm a fan of RR not because his films are brilliant masterpieces of art or what ever gay ass film snobbery you wish to dish out in attempt to come off as some highly intellectual mind of much higher stature than even Mount Olympus.

 

Hell nah, I love RR film's because every single one of them has hot bitches, & dark comedy. Every single one. RR has one crazy ass fucked up mind and I love his films for it. Well I don't know about Spy Kids but I wouldn't be surprised if those films had hot chicks too. I mean come on, Machete is in Spy Kids.

Robert Rodriguez's films are filled to the brim with so much creativity, dark comedy & style that no matter how bad a RR film may be.

You can best damn be guaranteed that I'll probably love it as much as all you asstards love stroking Christopher Nolan's dick coz his films make plebeians feel much brighter than you actually are, HAHA HAHAAH AHAHAH.

 

Which leads I to the film of the day. RR's The Faculty.

A stupid ass teen slasher film written by the same fuckface who wrote Scream & Scream 2 and probably the other Screams as well. I don't know. I don't give a fuck.

 

What I am sure of is that The Faculty wouldn't be anywhere near as campy fun without RR at the

helm to direct this little guilty pleasure. The film is about parasitic aliens taking over the bodies of a school in Ohio and blah blah blah, if you already seen one of the many remakes of the "Bodysnatchers" or John Carpenter's fucktablous "The Thing" then you already know the basic set up for The Faculty. Just replace all the ugly old dudes with hot jail bait bitches as the protaganists. (Who are in their 30's as of today so Hey, They legal, they legal.) Well actually the heroes are some nerd played by Elijah Wood and a dropout drug pusher (held back student?) called Zeke who's secretly as smart or even smarter than Elijah's Nerd character.

 

What's lovely is that The Faculty is self aware that it is indeed a derivative of "Invasion of the Bodysnatchers" and even goes out of its way to reference the aforementioned film in place of usual exposition dialogue that typically wastes time to explain the conflict of the plot.

Remember how I claimed that Robert Rodriguez films tend to be filled to the brim with fine ass hoes?

Well The Faculty sure has a numerable amount of those. Let it be said any movie where Salma Hayek isn't the best looking woman in the film is bound to be made pure of win. Hot principal, SCORE. Hot teacher, SCORE.

Hot loner hot topic goth, SCORE. Hot Brazilian/Portuguese cheerleader Valedictorian babe, SCORE. Homerun baby and I didn't even mention the hot dainty Southern babe yet and well I suppose I won't.

 

Is it artistic?: Hell no. This is pure Robert Rodriguez all the way.

Pulp entertainment at it's finest.

Is it deep?: Well there was a dialogue near the end of the film that perfectly conveyed the audacity of the school hierarchy. Or so I suppose.

I wouldn't know because I only attended one year of highschool as a 9th grader when I was 18.

Let's just that I'm a lot like Zeke. A walking contradiction.

Is it entertaining?: FUCK YES! This is Robert Rodriguez are you fucking stupid? Of course it's entertaining. Much more so than boring ass SIN CITY.

One peculiarity about The Faculty is that this film feels more pulp and Grindhouse than RR's actual Grindhouse films, "Planet Terror" and "MACHETE".

I mean damn, The Faculty is bad, it's so bad it's good.

As much as I love Planet Terror & Machete you have to admit that they try a little too hard to recapture the cheesiness of the epically bad direction of 70's to early 80's era exploitation slasher films.

The Faculty is the real deal. I just wish that wuss Elijah Wood didn't end up with the hot Brazilian babe in the end. WHAT THE FUCK!?

[3/5]
Yeah, only a 3.It could've easily been a 4 I guess but Usher Raymond is in this film and he mothafucking sucks. Fucking ruins every single scene he's in.

By Topdrunkee : September 14 , 2010

Randumb Vampire guy : Topdrunkee of USA.

He's a LooNY mothafucka.

He's the creator, the architect behind the Killer 7 SINdicate.
Well, that's the official story that I've heard. We've received some conflicting reports that he's actually one of the unheard of bastard children of the legendary Segata Sanshiro.
Which would at least explain why he has such a hardcore militant attitude toward everything in life no matter how miniscule.
We've also heard that this current Topdrunkee is just a digital clone of the original Topdrunkee who has been transplanted inside a mannequin that was made in his own image.
The whereabouts of the real Topdrunkee is anyone's guess. Maybe he stuck his middle finger inside an electric socket, & died. Maybe he was standing near a stripper who got shot in the tits, and died from the explosion of her implanted breasts that imported self detonating bombs? Who knows? Who gives a fuck!