SLAVEBUCKS\ STARFUCKERS | 5 jobs in one all for the price of minimum wage!

12/22/08

Slavebucks/Starfuckers Part Final |

I used to go to starbucks and I'd look at the place and think "wow what a fun place that'd be to work at!" I liked how friendly the place seemed even though every once in a while they'd fuck up my order or forget something. Then I came to the other side of the counter and saw how fake everything is. How a "partner" (as they call "co-workers" since everything just has to be a different fucking name at starbucks) would be all nice and smiles to the customers but a complete asshole to the people they work with.

Probably one of the MOST offensive things about Starbucks is how they loosely throw around the word DEPLOYMENT in their fancy little bucket of shit. How do they use that word? Well basically there's certain positions the "partners" have. You could be working at the register, pastry, espresso bar, cold drinks, brewed coffee, or be a floater. Whenever you're behind the counter they consider that "deploying."

 

To know how downright insulting that is - people loose their lives everyday when they get deployed to Iraq. So supposedly serving fucking expensive ass coffee behind that fucking counter means that you're "deployed."

There's a huge fucking gap between a soldier that gets deployed to war and a stupid piece of shit that drives to work each day from their house to put that little fucking housewife apron on to make some fucking coffee. But no, apparently that means the same thing as putting your life on the line for war. It does get busy at starbucks but its not THAT bad. It only gets that fucking

bad because the people that work there make drama out of the shit that goes on for no reason. Like how I'm the scapegoat each time someone fucks up.

Like really at my last job I dealt with every single bad customer you can think of. There was some bitchy customers at Starbucks but none of them really got to me like the ones at my old job did. I've dealt with all kinds of bad customers before so that's no surprise to me. But the partners that work there are the ones that make everything bad. Instead of helping out each other they single out and gang up on others.

I was working with this girl there during my first week who said that it took her a month to learn everything too and she didn't get a box full of useless manuals like me (but they did at least have some abbreviations for the terms and SOME recipes) and the girls that she worked with were even ruder and wouldn't even help her out. So when she saw me she probably saw another target for retarded bullshit...which I was.

Some of the girls that girl used to work with came back and they were by all means rude. I don't mind getting told what to do but jesus fucking christ you don't need to yell at me for no fucking reason. And it became even more difficult to work there. I was always being watched so whenever I made a mistake it could be blown out of proportion. Always asked what I did when they were watching me. If I made a mistake and they knew I was making a mistake I'd get told AFTER I did it. If they had a chance to humiliate me, they'd take each chance they got.

Basically I was dealing with immature high school shit. I'm a little too fucking old for that but the majority of the girls I was working with were still in their teens so surely they haven't grown out of their high school mentality yet. Basically I became the singled out worker and I was made fun of each time I fucked up because people had more amusement watching me fuck up instead of trying to help me. Each time I fucked up they'd go huddle in a circle and stand like three feet away from me and speak in low voices about me and how mentally retarded I am for not knowing that 3 pumps of vanilla goes into a caramel macchiato instead of four. Wow. Give me a fucking break.

When I asked if a espresso goes into a Latte (keep in mind I'm new and don't know about this shit) this girl had the nerve to announce to everyone, even in front of the customers about how stupid I am for asking if espresso goes into a Latte because it was supposedly obvious. Maybe it is but once again I have no fucking clue about coffee and the main reason WHY I wanted to work there was to learn. I also asked this guy the obligatory question when someone orders coffee: "Would you like room for cream?" and he didn't hear what I said at first so one of the partners just said "Oh just ignore what she said" and then the guy answered my supposedly nonsensical question.

I recall going to orientation the beginning of the month and the lady running orientation assured me and everyone else in the class that we all deserve and WILL be treated with dignity and respect. I sure as hell wasn't getting treated with dignity and respect. Far from it.

Now don't get me wrong I'm not the kind of person to air dirty laundry and talk shit online - I keep the personal shit to myself. But if its work related and especially represents part of a company then the way I got fucking treated needs to be aired. Seriously, once again if I didn't read I Hate Starbucks I probably would've been stuck there trying to work things out. Now the least I can do is warn people how bad it is working at fucking starbucks and how you should avoid it at all cost.

But what really got to me was when one of the veterans came back. I will say that she was a grade A barista. She got everything done with haste. She impressed me each time by how quick she was and I'd even compliment her on how fast she was. Of course that'd either be followed by ignoring me or she'd look at me like an idiot because I guess all baristas are supposed to be that fast (she can't fucking tell me that she was born or act like she was always that fast and that good at being a barista - jesus christ everyone starts out from the bottom not knowing everything.) I like how fast she worked but she had a fucking ego trip about how good she is.

And basically working at starbucks and being a pro barista is no different from being an expert by working at fucking Burger King or McDonalds. From what I saw and from how much I learned during my short time there I pretty much had everything down. I just didn't know how to work the espresso machine (due to never being able to use it - all I did was press buttons for the espresso shots) which really isn't that fucking hard to work on at all. Basically all you needed to do to be a great Starbucks barista was press fucking buttons on the machine, steam milk, and OMGWTF hold the spoon back so the foam doesn't get all up in the drink. I did like how lightning fast she was, but by no means at all does that mean that she had the right to look down at me like she was a fucking Chief Master Sergeant of the Air Force and I was just a lowly Airman Basic.

The only difference between Starbucks and McDonalds is that in Starbucks you get to be bitched around by the customers with all their ridiculous modifiers and always have to bend your back backwards to give them good service for their fast food shit. You can't walk into McDonalds and ask for a Double Cheeseburger with one bun and one patty, leave 56 sesame seeds on the top, put the ketchup on the bottom bun, Six pickles arranged in the shape of a cross, onions decorated around the corner cooked at XXX degrees, and I want mustard drawn in the shape of a happy face.

So yes, more than anything putting up with that girl and her bullshit - that couldn't make me want to quit my job more. To know the severity of that girl's bullshit she'd ignore me when I was talking, never look at me even if we were the only people behind the counter, I'd always catch her talking about how useless I am and all I do is stand around. Well fuck if I just stood around its because this crazy woman had a fucking ego trip, when she was busy I even asked if she needed help but she just looked right through me and acted like I wasn't there and did everything by herself. And then oh guess what the fuck - she goes back to the boss and complains about how useless I am and all I do is stand around.

I always washed out the pots when the people at the espresso machine were done with it and I'd never get any complaints. I washed some in front of her she just took them and said they were all bad and threw them back in the sink. While I was making a drink I was in front of the refrigerator that was below me that had whip cream and shit in it. Normally when people needed something they'd ask and I'd get it for them. She was so hellbent to do everything by herself she yelled at me to

MOVE OUT OF THE WAY

so she could get her whip cream. I started watching out to see how she treated the other baristas to see if she ever learned any fucking manners when she was growing up and she did treat them respectfully.

 

She did know how to say please and thank you and she knew how to be angelic to the customers. Just for some reason she always wrote me off and ignored me and never treated me like a fucking human being.

I guess she was one of those girls that don't bullshit at all (irony - because all you do at starbucks is bullshit with the customers) and when she doesn't like someone she just doesn't like them. As said before in an earlier entry my breaking point was when I was trying to reconfirm an order by the customers at the side because there were plenty of us and it was busy and I wasn't sure if they got their whole order. I decided to go there and see if everything was okay before I once again got yelled at publicly in front of all the customers for something I didn't do. Well that proved to be useless because while I was talking to the customers that psycho bitch who has no fucking manners was behind me and yelled

IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO MAKE COFFEE MOVE OUT OF THE WAY

and she yelled so mother fucking loud everyone could hear it. The baristas applauded her and thought she was badass for that (I even heard this one girl who helped me out in the past say "Oh good job I get tired of her shit too") and she said while smiling "I'm not patient. I can't take bullshit.", I was of course shocked along with the customers and when she did that me and the customers we were talking to raised our shoulders and were like o_O I was startled of course because I really didn't fucking deserve that.

 

A normal bitch with fucking manners would've said excuse me and I would've moved. But that Starbucks for you, everything is drawn out to large proportions and small things become huge. Much like how Starbucks tries to pass themselves off as some high classed place when all it is - is fucking Mcdonalds complete with the condiment bar at the side full of ketchup, mustard, napkins, or I mean sugar and spices and milk to put in your coffee.

That was my fucking breaking point and that's when I realized I had enough of that shit. I was once again asked if I'd like to stay later because people kept calling in sick to which I would normally reply "of course" for the extra pay but I wasn't taking that shit anymore. I left the moment I was off and went home pissed off. Before I went home I saw another girl who was new like me get bitched around disrespectfully as if making coffee was a life or death matter. I later talked to that girl and we both talked about how fucking ridiculous the girls there act. But at least the girl that bitched her out had the decency to do it in private.

That night I couldn't get any fucking sleep since I was so disgusted by how I was being treated, I clearly wasn't being treated like a fucking person. I couldn't get myself to sleep to get up in the morning and go to work so I just said fuck it and I'm going to call in sick and then later come to work with my fucking uniform and clock in/out card and just leave my shit in the office without any explanation.

On the way there to drop off my uniform I saw one of the girls that used to work there, the girl that said she worked with ruder baristas than I did. I was wondering why she didn't work at Starbucks anymore but apparently I found out she got switched out to work at the foodcourt so they could hire new people and bring back the bitchy veteran baristas. When I saw her I just said:

Today is a great day! I'M QUITTING!

Of course like anyone else she was surprised by that sudden decision but of course she understood why I'd quit. I know how I should and want to be treated and the girls there were fucking mental. Not only that my old job called me back and I made way more money there, had normal fucking hours, and wasn't paid to get humiliated on a daily basis. We talked about that mental girl up there that acted as if she was so important like she was fucking Chief Master Seargent of the Air Force and she said that was one of the girls that used to give her shit too.

I'm too old for that shit dammit.

I can't put up with that childish shit.

I know jobs elsewhere have women like that but I'm not going to work five jobs in one while being insulted by teenagers. Fuck that.

It felt so damn great to leave and it made me wonder why I didn't leave sooner.

And to know how damn serious Starbucks takes themselves I haven't received my paycheck that's supposed to come in the mail. Probably because there's a fucking snowstorm out there and it'd be too hazardous to drive in the snow. Didn't matter with Starbucks, snowstorm or not we still had to be there.

By Pinky Bento: September 11, 2010

Pinky Bento of Strawberry Queendom.

She's a Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah mothafucka.

Pinky Bento is the cupcake queen of Strawberry Queendom located south of Mango Fruit Dessert Peaks, 3 o clock right of Cherry Field Islands. Which is near Grape fruit Fountain but a little bit westward of Fuzzy MilkShake Grove.

She's possibly the most experienced & talented mothafucka but unfortunately Ms. Pinky is busy at the moment trying to maintain stability within the Queendom after suffering through two droughts in a row at the hands of the dastardly evil Kirby & his accomplice Chris Brown.