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Transformers
Directed by Michael Bay
WOW am I ticked off right now. I was nearing the VERY END of typing this review up when ALL OF A SUDDEN, Internet Explorer just DISAPPEARS!!!!!!!!! I want to kill things.....NOW! ANYWAY! (This is frickin bullcrap.)
SO! In the past I've found Michael Bay's films to be really pretentious and just completely misguided...or given too much meaning to a movie that's actually just an action filled piece of crap (can we say Pearl Harbour?). I don't think I need to say that we don't care about Ben Affleck's love life when the movie is supposed to be about the attack on Pearl Harbour. Even though the man has made some big, dumb, and RIDICULOUSLY LOOOOONG movies, he has made a few good ones recently.
The Island On to the main star of the show (well maybe MY favorite part anyway), Optimus Prime! Optimus Prime was always my favorite Transformer. I had him when I was a kid (probably still do somewhere) and he was just the coolest one of all. Thankfully in this movie, he still kicks major butt. And when he talks (thanks to Peter Cullen reprising his role from the show) he sounds so menacing and just...oh my goodness he's friggin sweet. Hugo Weaving plays Megatron in this one (the man gets around doesn't he?).
Shia LeBeouf STILL reminds me of himself when he was on the show Even Stevens. Now that could be good or bad. I didn't watch that show, but it never rubbed me the wrong way so I never really had any bad feelings about him. But he's really getting some big roles now in Hollywood! He thankfully does a good job as his character Sam. He's a bit of a goof sometimes, but he isn't so stupid as to come off as a totaly dork or an idiot. He's likeable. Megan Fox plays his...well love interest named Mikaela. She is thankfully VERY pleasing to look at, so sitting there for 2 and a half hours seeing her isn't so bad. Haha.
As for the the content of it, well, depending on who it is, you could PROBABLY take your kids to see this one (just be ready to tell your kids what the word masturbate means!). Although if Paul Verhoeven had directed it (Total Recall and Starship Troopers) people would be getting eviscerated and impaled constantly. Haha, thankfully that is NOT in this movie.
The plot is really simple. A bunch of Magical robot aliens (The Transformers, duh) come to Earth looking for a cube called the AllSpark. This cube, if put in the wrong hands (Like Megatron) could allow him to take over the entire universe. The action sequences play out VERY well and the Transformers look AMAZING. This is one of the few movies I've seen with such fantastic creatures where the creatures (which are OBVIOUSLY made on computer) look completely REAL. The Pirates of the Caribbean films had nice effects, but didn't pass beyond the "Uncanny Valley" (the area in between real and fake). So did the Star Wars films (the new ones anyway), as well as the Spiderman films, Superman Returns and so on. But the Transformers in this movie look like they could actually be holding the characters and actually interacting with the human environment around them.
Of course when the Autobots (good) finally face off against the Decepticons (evil) near the end, I'd say it's SUCH a great payoff. You've seen these mystical creatures throughout the movie but they haven't REALLY gone all out yet, but when they do, BOY is it fun. The fight between Optimus Prime and Megatron reaffirms my love for Optimus Prime because MAN is he friggin coolness. Unfortunately there's the one part where the Militay guy slides under one of the Decepticons to kill him. THAT part comes off as a little cheesy since the only real fantastic things throughout the rest of the film are the Transformers themselves. This little scene came off as a bit dorky. I guess Bay had to show he can still mess at least ONE thing up. Other than that campy little thing though (which is thankfully only about 30 seconds or so) the rest of the film is a LOT of fun.
There's a lot of good humor to the film too. One of my favorite things was when the military uses the AllSpark to turn a cell phone into a mini Transformer. The guy is not even a foot tall but he's got a chain gun on his front and he's just trying to KILL KILL KILL. Oh man, I loved it. That was great. The rest of the film has a lot of laughs too without feeling too forced by the performances (which is one of my critisisms of the Pirates of the Caribbean films by the way). The Transformers look amazing, the action is fantastic, and overall it leaves you smiling at just the sheer coolness of the Transformers themselves (yes, even the Decepticons).
I give this film
[4/5]
The movie is fun. It's funny without being too forced and campy, the action is pretty good, and the Transformers will show you the amazing things we can do on computers nowadays. It's a big, dumb, summer action flick, but man will you have a lot of fun watching it. SEE IT!
was actually a really good film. The movie had plenty of action sequences but not so many that it was more relying on action rather than good storytelling. Plus the action stuff was plausible. People weren't doing absurd things and having it work. Sadly there are a COUPLE times like that in THIS movie (like when a military guy uses a motorcycle and topples it over as he's driving so he can slide underneath a Decepticon and launch a grenade up into it). It's just a bit silly.
If you can stand Michael Bay movies you'll enjoy it. This is probably his best so far but considering what he's made it isn't saying a lot.
Regardless, it's fun enough for a watch. Megan Fox is gorgeous and there's no problem with that. Just don't expect much more than action and goofiness. There's NOTHING intellectual about this film. Leave your brain at the door and you might have some fun.
September 13 , 2010
ILLegal Alien: Jedi Link of USA.
Of all the muthafuckas in the world, he's the muthafuckest.
This one is a bizarre case. Some places he fits in, others he stands out. No matter where you find him, he'll always be the same guy as he never puts up a facade for any reason. A filmmaker on the rise he has a vast knowledge of useless garbage. If it's in a movie he's seen it. Thanks to the internet he's seen worse. This one is severely scarred by an incomprehension of how retarded people can be. Generally a loner, he knows few, those few don't always support him so he stands on his own.
He is relentless in his pursuit as a filmmaker and refuses to be left out of a business he wants to see improve. He also has ADD which explains the somewhat "all over" nature of his own description.